Thursday, November 26, 2015


This will be a long update. A very long update I should say. There's simply so much to tell, and I hope you find at least some of it entertaining. In fact, I had to cut the story short this time, and I think you understand why by the time you get to the end. Hopefully I will be able continue the story at a later time.

I got to spend a weekend  with my Queen again. In a way one could say the weekend was sort of reward for both of us. We had both been very busy the last week and felt we had "earned" some time together. The weekend wasn't all fun and rolling in the sack, since life seldom is, but I'm concentrating on the good parts in this post.

We're not your regular kinky couple, me and Queen. For various reasons we don't do much of the stuff many "regular" kinky people seem to do. You now, with whips and high heels and stuff. I've also noticed things don't usually go as planned with us, but we end up having fun nevertheless. This applies to last weekend, as well.

The reason for us spending the weekend together was, as usual, two events that both demanded us to be present. This was all very handy, but because of it we were both rather tired by the time we got to her place at Saturday night.

We had planned having an actual candle-lit romantic dinner that night, something we haven't had time to do properly yet. We had the dinner all right, after which my Queen showed me an episode of her favourite series she had wanted me to see for some time now.

The episode, in case some you wonder, was "The Power of Madonna" from Glee, and the reason my Queen wanted to show it to me is the fact she knows I'm a long-time Madonna fan. I enjoyed the episode, even though I have to admit the Glee's Rocky Horror Picture Show special my Queen showed me some time ago worked better.

After the episode, both of us being nice and tipsy, we realized we were both way too tired to be able to do anything but to go to bed. There would always be tomorrow, we thought. We hit the sack and were asleep in a matter of minutes.

On Sunday morning almost the first thing my Queen did after she came out of the bathroom was to inform me that Mother Nature had once again arrived to her monthly visit. She had previously mentioned that "red alert" was on again, so it wasn't actually a surprise, but it was very unfortunate news anyway.   

This meant there wouldn't be a chance for me to pleasure her, and that we'd have to concentrate on me instead. However, I had no idea where it would actually lead to.

For some time we had discussed it would be interesting to try Viagra. I had tried it a decade back, with no avail. We conducted the experiment on Sunday, which proved something I had suspected all along, namely that Viagra still isn't enough to cure my impotence.

There was some swelling, but nothing I could use for fucking. I don't feel bad about it, however. Also, since my penis was now at least half mast it gave my Queen something to play with, and try out new things. 

One of the things was actually masturbating me, in the old-fashioned back-and-forth way. On many occasions when she had played with me, my penis had remained completely limp, which had led her to think of different techniques to edge me.   

Another thing she did was blindfolding. I have never been blindfolded, and I was surprised how erotic it was. I was forced to just lie there, and feel my Queen masturbating me, and not be able to see it. According to her my penis kept becoming more erect, and I would have liked to see it, but was forbidden to.

Eventually my Queen got bored me being blindfolded, and removed it. The edging session culminated into something I could describe as some sort of mental, but completely dry orgasm. Nothing came out, and my Queen said I had looked as if I had experienced "a girls's orgasm".  

So, after we had rested for a while it was time for round two. And even though saying this makes me look lik a sex maniac, it was me who suggest we would continue. The round one had been fun, but had left me needing more. However, it turned out the round two was, if possible, even more steamy then the first one.

Later on my Queen said that she had decided to give me an actual ruined orgasm this weekend, since I seemed so desperately to need one. Even though it had been, after all, only three weeks since my last ruined orgasm. I had no idea about her plans, of course.

Among other things my Queen ordered me to hump her hand with my partly soft penis, which was very humiliating thing to do. I also got very aroused hearing my Queen give direct commands, for example actually saying: "Come on, hump my hand".

Another interesting technique she came up with was using her foot in teasing me. This was most likely a complete accident, but soon we both realized she had hit the jackpot. The reason she hadn't tried the technique sooner was that a completely shrunken nub of a penis like mine is very difficult to torment that way.

Using the sole of her feet as well as the calf of her feet she sort of rolled it between her leg and mine. It was a rather rough treatment, but incredibly pleasurable as well. I squirmed, unable to form coherent sentences, part of the time in agony, part of the in ecstasy. My Queen just giggled, since she seemed to find my reactions rather amusing.

Finally, it seemed, my Queen had come to the conclusion it was time to get to business and started to masturbate my semi-hard penis with skilful determination. She even pressed her hand to my chest, to feel the racing of my heart, that became faster and faster the closer she got.

Following my suggestion she kept little pauses and then slowed the masturbating almost to a halt. I wanted her to do so to prevent myself from ejaculating too quickly. However, no matter how slow she did it, I kept coming closer and closer, which I told her, as well.

As I came closer to the edge I was given a command to inform when I was there, so she could let go. Finally I knew it wouldn't take much longer and looking deep into her eyes I let her take me there. Then, just as my body was about to go over, told her to take her hand away.

It was glorious, and so frustrating at the same time. I felt the orgasm that was somehow cut short, and felt few drops of cum ooze out. I curled into a little ball into the arms of my Queen and told her over and over how much I loved her.

The rest of the day we lay down in bed and talked. And talked and talked. For hours, it seemed. All the time I had to fight the urge to tell her again and again how much I love her. How much I love our discussions, how I love everything in her.

After we had dinner I even got to show her an episode of Star Trek, which we haven't had opportunity in ages, it seemed. The episode in question was "Hollow Pursuits", where we are introduced with lt. Barclay. She seemed to find the episode rather amusing, I'm glad to say.

Originally my intention was to leave on Sunday, since I had previous arrangements on Monday. However, things let to another and ended up spending one night more at her place.

On Monday morning I woke up before my Queen did and realized I had a nice erection. I coaxed my Queen awake and she seemed willing to play with it a bit. At that point I noticed the usual rough treatment my Queen usually gives to my penis, made it hurt even more than usual.

After a while I felt myself losing the erection, and started to beg for her a permission to masturbate myself a bit, something that is normally forbidden for me. After some begging my Queen gave in. I took hold of my penis that was rapidly losing it's erection and started pulling it up and down.

It felt incredible. It felt so good. To be able to pull it up and down, and to look at my Queen's beautiful eyes at the same time.

"God this feels good", I said, and saw my Queen nod.

"You do know I'm a good wanker", I said, continuing what I did. "I've done it so much during my life I've become very good at it."

"I'm sure you have", my Queen answered.

"This hurts, from yesterday", I said, but didn't slow down.

"Good", my Queen said. "I'm glad it hurts."

"You want me to suffer? To punish me for waking you up?"

"Yes I do", she said, and then, and continued after a while. "It's your job to keep me happy. The only thing you're supposed to be interested is my pleasure, me having fun."

"Yes", I said, but didn't continue, enjoying what she was saying.

"You're not supposed to think of your own needs at all. Or to wake me up, when I still had wanted to sleep."

"Hmm-mm...", I said incoherently.

"So, aren't you ashamed?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"You're not?" she asked, surprised.

"No. At the m-moment I don't care anything else that the fact how f-fucking horny I am."

I heard my Queen sigh.

"At this rate we will have to put you into a chastity belt, to keep you under control", she said.

"I-ve been thinking about it", I said, with my voice shaking a bit. This was the first time either had actually spoke of the subject.

"You have?"

I nodded.

"It would have to be extra, extra small", she said.

"Yes, extra small" I said, masturbating furiously. "To make my penis even more small."

"So that you'd be in real agony when your penis tries to get hard in the mornings."

"Y-yes, it would be simply awful."

"Oh, it would", she said.

"I would have to keep it all the time", I said. "And you'd take it off only when we're together, like now. And you'd put it on when the weekend is over."

"But I would take it off only if you're extra good and nice to me. Like for example by massaging my back."

I nodded again.

"And you'd keep the only keys."

"Of course", she said. "Most likely in a chain around my neck."

"You would?"

"Maybe I'd even start wearing low cut shirts, so you could watch the key dangling between my breasts."

I opened my eyes and looked deeply in her eyes.

"I love you so", I said, almost out of breath, and saw her smile.

She started to caress my chest and then squeezed my both nipples. They were still sensitive, since they too had received rather rough treatment the previous day. It felt very good, her doing it, and her being there.

"Y-you know", I said finally. "I'm getting close."

"You are?"

I told her I was, which was the truth, and that I had slowed down the pace, couple of times, since I didn't want to cum at least not without her permission."

"Well, of course you don't."

"But I could", I said, hesitating a bit. "Make myself a ruined orgasm."

"You already had one yesterday. You're getting greedy."

I nodded, and looked at her pleadingly, unable to think straight.

"You could take your hand away in time?" she said.

"I did it once before, remember", I said, pulling my now almost completely limp penis up and down very slowly. "It's unconceivable thing to do on one's own, but not that hard, with you."

"Would you like to?"

"Honey", I said smiling. "It's what you like that matters."

She was silent for a moment, and looked at me, with contemplating look on her face.

"Okay then, do it."

I started masturbating faster, and taking a hold of her hand, closed my eyes. I took myself beyond the point of no return and then, let go. After a few seconds I felt sperm starting spurt out of my limp penis, as waves of a glorious orgasm wash over me.

I'm not making excuses. I was greedy and I wanted to cum. And quite frankly, it felt almost like a real orgasm. It had looked one, as well, my Queen commented afterwards. Therefore I have put it down as "orgasm allowed and supervised by my Queen" on my book-keeping. 

However, I did it with permission of my Queen, and I would have stopped if she had said no. And I would have thanked and loved her for it.

As for the book-keeping, as soon as I got around to do it, I realized two things. First was the fact that first time ever there was a situation when the number of orgasms exceeded my Queen's, in a given period of time. After all, this was the first time I had orgasmed on two days in a row since November 2013. 

The other one was an observation I made the following day, when my Queen informed me she had had a nice orgasm that day. The observation was that since April I have had eight orgasms now, whereas my Queen has had 108. Exactly one hundred orgasms difference. One hundred orgasms. It makes my head spin.

In other words, even though I felt somewhat ashamed of being so greedy, it didn't feel as bad when I considered the difference in numbers. One hundred orgasms, the number is simply staggering. There's also another lesson to be learned from this all, a one about price of the pleasure. The thing is, this time, the story doesn't end here.

Immediately after I had orgasmed on Monday I felt considerable stinging on my penis. However, it wasn't until I got home I realized why. My poor penis had indeed sustained quite a damage both in the hands of my cruel Queen, as well as my horny hands.

In fact the damage was so severe the skin was torn from several places just under the head of the penis. I'm not blaming my Queen of course, since I was involved, as well. However, I admit I got a bit alarmed, since I'm diabetic (type one) and wounds heal much slower on me. I have no desire to go to doctor with inflamed penis, either.

In other words, the good part of last few days I have spent recuperating, and trying to get my poor little penis to start healing. However, I think at this point I will show mercy to my readers. In other words, there's more to the story, but time for it isn't now.

There would be things to tell how the draining of my balls has affected my libido, but that will have to wait, as well.

In conclusion, what can I say? It seems it's true what they say. Every bit of pleasure in this life has to be purchased with equal amount of suffering. 

Thursday, November 5, 2015


In my most recent post I hinted at a upcoming anniversary. Two full years has passed since I last orgasmed by my own free will. When one year was up I didn't celebrate it in any way, mostly because I had no one to celebrate it with. For the most part my chaste life has been a very lonely one. 

Like I've told you, my Queen has hinted she would like us to try intercourse before the year ends. There has been numerous reasons we haven't done so, even though we have dated for almost a year now. I won't go into too much detail here.

What I can say is that one of the reasons is my impotence. Some time ago I got a prescription for a drug called Caverject, which you inject into your penis. It gives you a rock hard erection lasting up to several hours if needed, making it possible even for impotent men to have intercourse. 

I used the drug with my first girlfriend, because I was impotent even back then, but I have had my reasons to postpone using it again. The thing is, for a male using it is really uncomfortable, even painful. 

One influencing factor for me wanting to make it happen now was also the fact that this would also be the 100th orgasm my Queen has had since we started counting them earlier this year. In the same time I have had five orgasms, almost all of which have been "ruined" in some way or another.

In other words, I had came to the conclusion that if my Queen wanted to feel my hard penis inside her, this was the perfect opportunity for it. So, I went to the pharmacy and got the medicine, but didn't tell about it to my Queen beforehand, since I wanted it to be a surprise to her.

On Saturday there was a Halloween party we both had to attend, and the plan was I was to stay the night and the following Sunday at her place, like we often do. By the time we arrived at her place it was already way over 4 AM. This was handy, since the exact time the clock turned two full years was that Sunday morning, first of November, 06:31. 

This gave me a good oportunity to tell her the time was at hand, and also about my purchase. She was surprised, to say the least. 

I also got to explain to her that knowing what I did had been the reason I had been somewhat nervous the whole night. Also the fact she had looked sexy as hell in the party hadn't helped. So sexy in fact, I was a bit intimidated by her all through the night. 

Doing the deed, so to speak, had to wait till we had slept, however, and it was a Sunday afternoon before we finally begun. It was clear we were both very nervous. We both also agreed it was very weird to realize how "goal-oriented" the whole situation was.

How did it go, then? Again, I do not want to go into too much detail, but let's just say the first trial run wasn't a complete success. It could have gone better, and we could have handle it all better. Me included. 

I've had very little experience in my life when it comes to old-fashioned fucking, and the last time I had done it must have been more or less a decade ago. My Queen has had even less experience than I have. In a way it felt we were two 16-year-olds trying to figure how everything works. They make it look so easy in porn. 

They say "the first time" is always very awkward and weird. This seems to apply even though you had had sex before, just not with the person in question. Also, it occurred to me they say doing it is like riding a bicycle. But I suppose before you learn how to ride one, it can be awkward, painful and full of failures, as well.

I also found out the Caverject is as nasty stuff for me to use now as it was a decade ago. It gives you an incredible hard on all right, but it also takes away the sensitivity. To put it bluntly, at times it felt almost as if I were pushing an iron rod attached to my groin into my Queen's vagina.

One could say that the moment we're both better at pleasuring the other person with other means than by actual fucking. Then again, we've both had more experience in it, during the past year.

One proof of that is the fact that the whole thing became way more erotic, arousing and hot only after we had stopped actual fucking. First I made her orgasm by hand, which she seemed to enjoy very much, after which she gave me a wonderful hand-job.

Earlier on we had tried to turn each other on by talking naughty during the intercourse, and realized we need a lot more practice to be able to do both talking and fucking at the same time.

"Who knows, this may be your only chance to cum", she said as I was fucking her. "I may not let you have a real orgasm the rest of the year, if you don't cum now."

Well, as it turned out, I was nowhere near to cumming during the whole time. Not only was the whole thing a mess, technically speaking, the drug also made my cock so hard and insensitive I could have fuck her for eternity and not to cum myself.

When she was masturbating my still semi-hard penis, which now had regained some of its sensitivity, she started cooing:

"Wouldn't it be simply awful if I ruined this one for you as well?" she asked me. "You had your chance earlier, so now all you get would be only a ruined orgasm?"

"Mmmm-hmmm", I said, because speaking was difficult for me at that point. "It w-would."

"Oh yeah?" she said, milking me faster. "What if I tell you you'll have to inform me if you're about to cum?"

"I will say, of course."

"Okay then, say it when you're getting close."

"I will" I said, eyes closed.

It took us two attempts to get me over the edge. First time I told my Queen to let go a bit too soon, and I didn't ejaculate after all. Afterwards I realized it would have been a good idea for her to have a pause and let me cool down a bit, before continuing.

However, without a pause she took hold of my semi-hard penis and started milking me again. After a few strokes I had to tell her to let go of it, which she did. There was a few seconds pause, and then I felt a nice big load of sperm shooting out of my penis.

It felt glorious. It was so... energetic, vigorous and divine. I felt sperm coming out of my penis, a spurt after spurt, and heard my Queen complementing me. 

Even though the little milking session has grown into immense proportions in my head, it didn't last that long. According to her, from the moment she poured lube into her hands, to the moment I spurted, it hadn't been much more than a minute. What can I say, my Queen is great in giving handjobs.   

It felt so good, in fact, that it was a bit hard for me to think of it as "a ruined" orgasm. However, according to all the porn videos I've seen, that's exactly what it was. It seems that being completely denied for two full years have taught me to appreciate even ruined orgasms.

I have observed myself the past few days, and so far it would seem my most recent, rather abundant ejaculation didn't have have negative effects in my libido. Like I told you earlier, I have been rather horny lately. During the last few days I've noticed the cumming didn't take that away. If possible, I have felt even more horny.

All in all, as far as the fucking goes, I would say the first trial run could have been better, but it could have been worse, as well. Practice makes perfect, they say, but according My Queen she has no definite plans now, since she's very busy with her studies at the moment. 

In other words, when will be our next trial run be, or when I will be allowed ejaculate next time, is so far a complete mystery. Only time will tell.