Thursday, November 16, 2017


Last night my special friend and I had our first virtual date. We had been talking about it for quite some time, and it had been postponed once already due to her schedules, so it's nice we finally managed to do it. It is the first virtual date of my life, as well as my first date as a girl. In a way it was my first actual date ever.

For the occasion my special friend gave me an order to post the following on Facebook and elsewhere on social media, after I had suggested it would be nice to do something like that. The thing is, now and then I have noticed posts from my fellow pervs that must have been done for their Mistresses.     

Under orders from my Owner I want everyone to now I haven't had a single orgasm after October the first. During the course of that 45 days she has had 258 orgasms, making the ratio between my orgasm and hers 0,0039. She also wants me to inform me you all I have wasted my time by masturbating for approximately four hours so far.

I also designed a new cover picture for my Twitter and Facebook accounts, and changed the color scheme of the former and my Tumblr account, for the occasion, and as a present for my friend. The thing is, we have chosen teal as the colour code for my friend on my chastity calendar, and we've both been very excited to have her colour to gradually fill it. So, naturally it was more than fitting to use it elsewhere, too.

You can see the Twitter cover picture I designed here. I was very pleased to hear my friend like her gift very much.

The date itself was very lovely, even though we had a couple of technical setbacks, and I had great difficulties deciding what I should wear for my first date as a girl, even a virtual one. I finally settled to my black knee-high socks, black stockings, my black mini-skirt, and a rather fabulous looking, shiny and velvety, burgundy coloured top I haven't had chance to use yet, and narrow black stud decorated "slave necklace". 

I looked, even if I say so myself, extremely fuckable in my outfit. As well as incredibly gay. To add the fun I had also suggested I could wear my t-shaped anal toy and my extra-tiny chastity cage for the occasion, a suggestion my friend loved.

During our date we watched one movie and a one documentary, The Miracle at Morgan's Creek (1944) and Celluloid Closet (1995) the both of which I had suggested for us to watch.

The first is a very much a child of its time, but also a very unusual movie because the subject matter is premarital sex and pregnancy, even though not technically. It's a classic screwball comedy full of great performances and unconventional female characters, as well as one male one, and it has always been one of my favourites,

The latter is a documentary that deals with how homosexuality has been dealt with in mainstream Hollywood movie, from the silent era to mid 1990's. I have seen the documentary a numerous times, but it was a very profound experience for me.

Not only it is a great and powerful documentary, but this time I have a whole new angle to it, as you may guess, after having understood I am actually genderqueer myself. To watch the documentary in girly clothes and a toy in my ass added a whole new level to the watching experience, too.

We discussed them both after and between the movies, and to my satisfaction my friend liked them a great deal. Since my friend is a bi and genderqueer herself the documentary hit very close to her as well. She said she has now a long list of movies to watch, and thet she wants to show the documentary to her queer friends, which I am very glad to hear. 

After our discussion we gradually moved on to more steamy subjects, but my friend said she didn't want me to remove my tiny cage just yet. She said she is going to masturbate herself to several orgasms, and wanted me to describe how I pictured her fucking me at the end of our date night. She wanted my attention to be on that, not on pulling my clit.

"I love cumming when you're locked up, it heightens it a little", she said.

"Well", I begun. "I think first you would tell me to go and remove the panties, and preferably the top too. I could also use some of your bras, to make me look more girly, if that's okay to you. After that you would send me to get some lube, because it would be high time to stop playing around."

She would lay on the bed, waiting and idly caressing her strap-on. I would return, in my knee high socks and miniskirt and bra, looking like a real sex slave. She would tell me to lube her cock, since "no fucking way she is doing it for herself, if there's someone like me to do it for her".

I would put lube on her cock, and then but my hand to it, gliding it up, and down... up and down. She would look at this approvingly, and after a while say: "Okay, hop on it". She would look at my astonished face and continue: "You didn't think I would be doing the hard work? Think again. I want to see what you look like when you're impaled by my massive cock."

I would look for a towel but she would just say: "Forget it, wipe it on yourself" and I would do so. Gingerly I would straddle her, and start guiding the tip of her cock to my pussy opening. She would smirk, clearly enjoying the situation.

Then, after I have managed to put the tip the right place, I would start lowering myself, by letting my weight do the work. I would let out a long: "Oooooooooohhhhh..." and saw her smile ever broader. It would feel so good. I would feel so full. Filled completely by her.

I would lift myself a few times, and then lower myself again. My legs would be spread wide as I leaned backwards. I would notice her looking at my tiny shiny cage and smile, if possible, even more broadly.

I would enjoy her looking at my caged clit, as well as my deliciously full balls. "I'd like to take a grip of them as I cum", she said at this point, in real life this time. "Please do", I said. "I want you to do it." She would reach over and a wide smile would find itself on my face. "That feels good", I would say. "Please, squeeze them good."

"Lean forward" she would say after a while, letting go. "I want you closer. I would do as I am told, put my hands flat on the bed, and start riding her cock, our faces only a little distance from each other. "This feels so good", I would say, as I let my ass glide up and down on her huge cock.

"Your cock feels so good inside me. If fills me so well. You have the most magnificent cock, my love." She would keep her arms behind her neck and smile, enjoying the show. "Why, thank you", she would say and smirk. "Keep going. I will tell you when to stop. I love watching my slut fuck herself on my cock. I could watch it forever."

After a while she would glide her fingertips and nails on my skin. The sides of my legs, under my short skirt, and cupping my soft and hairless ass cheeks. Then coming to the front and taking a good hold of my cage and testicles. Up my belly, and under the bra, giving my nipples a good twist. So hard I would yell out loud.

"Please..." I would say." She would sigh, irritated. "Shut up. I'm having fun here. In case you meant, please do it harder." I would nod. "Y-yes. I meant just that. Please hurt me more. Please pinch my nipples harder." Then she would do just that and I would let out a long wail. "God I love you!" I would say, and hear her chuckle. "I love you too, my love."

Finally her hands would go to up to my shoulders and squeeze the muscles there, hard like a butcher. "Mmmmmm...You have such nice muscles here" she would say. "Who would have believed... Such a sissy. You must work out or something. I love how muscular and at the same time girly these are. Smooth, pale, white and flawless..."

"Just like these", she would say as her fingers and fingernails start to descend, over my strained biceps. She would squeeze them, so that her fingernails dig into the pale skin. "I told you I like nice arms. Yours are so beautiful I'd like to eat them."

Then she would start to go up again, over my shoulders and up to my neck. Her fingers would go into my full, long hair and take a good hold of it. "You didn't lie. This is pretty long already. Just the kind of hair that is nice to take a good hold of. And it's nice and long in the back too. I can't wait for us to get it even longer."

I would nod. "Me neither", I would say and see her smile. "You can't wait to look like a real girl, don't you?" she would continue. "So that everyone would see it, so that you wouldn't be able to hide it from anyone?" I would nod again and gasp "Exactly, my love. I want the whole world to see I'm  a girl".

"Come here and kiss me", you would say and I would lean down, and we would have a long, desperate tongue kiss, us both incredibly horny. "God I love you so", she would say as well break it. "I love you so for doing everything I tell you. I love you so for letting me to keep you forever denied. And above all, I love you for doing it willingly and eagerly. The mere thought makes me so wet. Now, continue fucking."

I would do as I am told and continue fucking her huge cock. She would put her hand to my hair again, then let them to go over to play with my ears. She would smirk as she starts circling her index fingers around at the opening of my ear, and seeing the effect it has on me. Seeing me go completely nuts.

"Oh, you'd like me to penetrate you here as well?" she would say. "The fact that my cock is impaling your sissy asshole isn't enough?" I nod. "No, it i-isn't", I say. Please fuck me in the ear." She would sigh again. "Such a greedy little slut", she would say disapprovingly, and slide both of her fingers into my ears.

Immediately my eyes close, my mouth opens and if she didn't know better she would most likely think I had just cummed. "Ohhhhhhhhhh", I gasp. "Please... just like that. Please fuck me in the ears. Let me be your total slut." After she stops I hear her chuckle. "You are my total slut. I don't have to fuck your ears to know that. But it's so fun to play with you."

Then she would slide her index fingers over my hot cheeks to my mouth. "Open", she would say and slide both of your index fingers in, just in case there was any wax in them. "Lick", she would say and I would dutifully start licking both of them clean. You chuckle. "You really do anything I tell you to?" she asks. I nod, still riding on her magnificent cock. "Of course I would, because I love you."

"Mmmmmm, good girl", she would say and take my face into her hands. "You look so beautiful. Your skin is so flawless. And you look especially beautiful when you are being hurt, did you know that?" I shake my head between thrusts. "Well, now you do. Expect to be hurt a lot in the future because of that. And I mean a lot."

Then she would slide your hands to the sides of my head and take a good hold of my hair again. "Okay, let's see you fuck my cock real good and real fast. Let's do a grande finale, my love. I expect to see blood on my cock when you get up. If there isn't, you will regret it."

All through my little story there my friend remained mostly quiet, and informed me of her orgasms simply typing numbers: "1", "2", "3" and so on. I felt so used as I was typing, because I knew I wasn't getting any kind of physical pleasure out of this, I was simply providing sexual pleasure to someone else, I was a mere sex toy. I loved that feeling immensely.

Soon after her final orgasm my friend started to be ready to fall asleep, and finally did so, as she later said "her fingers in her panties and me in her mind". In the morning she also informed me she had masturbated herself to orgasm reading again what I had written. What can I say, it's nice to feel oneself useful.

That is also one of the reasons for me to make this blog post, to make what I written easier for her to find, and masturbate to later. I also hope other people may find the description arousing, perhaps even arousing enough to masturbate and cum to.

All in all, not the worst virtual date, wouldn't you say?

Saturday, November 4, 2017


What comes in the life of a chaste sissy after Locktober? No-vember. *bada-boom-tshihh*

In my earlier post I had a lot to talk about, as I more or less came out of the closet, and described my emotional roller-coaster when it comes to dealing with and coming to terms with my newfound femininity. But this is supposed to be a chastity blog, as well. How is my chastity going?

As I said in my earlier post, I have now a special on-line friend who has expressed to me how much she likes to keep me denied and frustrated. She has allowed me to cum once, in the beginning of October, but has no plans of doing so again in a long, long while.

I am perfectly fine with all of this, because as all of the faithful readers of my blog know, I have desperately needed someone in my life who would care me enough to forbid cumming from me. Or, to look at it differently, to take away the burden and responsibility of deciding when and how to cum.

As I am writing this it is certain I won't cum any more this year. I have now 34 days of chastity behind me, and by the time it's time to pull out the fireworks the day count will be 91. Still pitifully low figure, I now.

As you know, I am a number nerd. I have kept a chastity calendar since 2012, and calculating my chastity in different ways have been fetish of mine for a long time, often in the way of contrasts my lack of sexual pleasure to that of someone else.

We have, in fact, kept a joint orgasm diary with my special friend, since the beginning of October. It's in the form of a Google spreadsheet she updates every day from her phone, and which I maintain and have developed further in the course of past month.

I am very happy I suggested the idea of my friend, since as soon as I had told her the ratio between her orgasms and mine after a mere few days, she got extremely excited about the idea. Math can be very sexy, since after twenty of her orgasms the ratio between us had dropped to 0,05, a fact we both found quite a turn-on.

The spreadsheet is, even though I say so myself, a piece of art I look at daily and usually masturbate while doing so, as well. As does she, I've understood, the only difference being she cums while doing so, whereas I do not, naturally.

Not only does the spreadsheet tell the number of her orgasms and it's ratio and percentage to mine, it calculates the time it will take, with the current average, for the ratio to drop under 0,001. In other words, when my friend has had 1001 orgasms.  
A thousand orgasms? I know the figure sounds enormous, but in my friend's case it's not that much. My friend is a multiple cummer, and is good at what she does. One might say she is as good in cumming as I am in not cumming.

In the course of the first month we have kept a record managed to cum 171 times, which sounds a lot especially compared to my one orgasm, but in fact it is only 5,5 orgasms per day on average. Naturally I try to help her cum as often as possible.

The math games have become quite an integral part of our mutual erotic life. For example we have both been fascinated how much her number of daily orgasms affects the total day estimate, or how many days there would be to go with the current orgasm rate.

If she comes a lot or at least over the current average, which is at the moment about five orgasms per day, the estimated date comes closer. But if she is otherwise busy and doesn't cum at all, it has a dramatic effect on the time we still have ahead of us.

In fact merely by controlling the number of orgasms she has daily she can keep the remaining days count as constant. The past few weeks it has remained nicely at 140 to 150 days and I hope it will stay there for a long time to come. The fact that no matter how much time passes the day isn't getting any closer is quite erotic.

We have also calculated how long it will take until she is unable to keep the number at current level before the laws of mathematics come into play. According my calculations, with current rate that would take place in mid March and after that it would take about a month for us to reach 1000 of her orgasms.

But like I have said, it all depends how many orgasms my friend will have daily. For example if she she started cumming merely once a day, it would take until February 2019 for us to reach 1000 orgasms. The truth, I think, is somewhere between.

We are now closing 200 of her orgasm, meaning it would take around five to six months in all for her to reach our goal. However, that does not automatically mean a permission to cum for me. The number of my orgasms to stay in one has merely been the condition for our calculations to be correct.

Truth to tell of us haven't even suggested anything of the such, not her nor me. In fact just a few days ago she mentioned she has no plans whatsoever to let me cum in next April, never has. She has always planned to keep me denied much longer than that. Since, as she says, she feels I could do so much more.

She would, in fact, very much like to make me break my previous chastity record this time. 

Meaning she would like me to be in chastity 497 days for her.

I admit, I had fantasized about just that for some time. Like I have stated earlier on this blog, I have had no illusions of ever being to break my 497 day record, partly because I didn't believe never being able to find anyone to do it for.

But now I have. I have now in my life someone who I am doing my chastity for, who actually likes me being denied, and is very determined about it.

But still, the step from 34 to 500 days of chastity is a huge one, and a commitment not to be taken lightly. If I had said yes it would mean I had willingly agreed not to cum even once in 2018. After all, breaking my record wouldn't take place until February the 10th, 2019.

The thought scares and horrifies me, and as such turns me on incredibly. To willingly commit oneself for such a long time would be insane. After all, I am not young anymore, and for me year and a half is a long time. Part of the reason for being horrified is naturally the fact I would like to say yes.

I would very much like to agree. Because it's the length of the time that I would have before is exactly the thing that makes it incredibly erotic for. Even the mere knowledge of my friend even asking me a thing like that is erotic beyond belief. I am edging my limp member furiously as I am writing this.

And isn't this exactly what I have wanted? I have whined for ages on this blog for not having someone to control my orgasms, and forbidding me to cum. I have now a person in my life who wants to do just that, and I'm still not satisfied? All this whining about such a meaningless thing as not cumming next year. Talk about ungrateful.

And lets not forget the fact she actually, truly wants me to do this for her. Thinking about the control she has over me, thinking about me sexually frustrated and denied, truly brings her pleasure. The idea of me not cumming makes her wet. Why should I be so selfish, and deny her that?

It may also be good to mention at this point that as you may have noticed, we are talking about merely breaking my record, not a permission to cum. My friend seems to enjoy great deal having a willing sub like me to play with, and there are no telling what her next goal would be.

Also, chastity is something the appetite for grows over time, and if past is any indication, after I reach 500 days, I most likely see no reason to stop there. I know myself too well.

As you can see from this post I'm a bit of an emotional turmoil right now. I would very much like to say yes, but at the same time the rational part of my mind keeps telling me it would make more sense to proceed with smaller steps.

After all, if I had known way back in November 2013 that I wouldn't cum for the next 497 days I'm not at all sure I'd had guts even to begin my chastity. What if the mere idea of the 465 days I would have before me is simply too much for me to bear?