I think it is time for an update. In my previous post I told you about an interesting new development in my cumming schedule. The idea was that I was would cum once a day, with no exceptions. No matter whether I wanted it myself, or had time for it, I was to orgasm daily for eight whole weeks.
Considering there was once a time I was used to cum daily, at first it seemed there was nothing out of the ordinary in the new cumming regime. Despite the fact that lately the most frequent cumming pace for me had been an orgasm once in four or five days.
For the first few days it felt great. As I was pulling my limp penis daily I enjoyed the feeling of being used it created. "I have to do this, it's not up to me", I thought. After all, I had never been under obligation to cum, at least not in this degree.
Surprisingly quickly, however, the arrangement lost it appeal and stopped being fun. One day being sad or too busy and I ended up having to do it twice the next day. Pretty soon cumming became a labour, a distasteful responsibility.
I do want to assure I did take the "prescription" my friend gave me very seriously and did my best to follow it. I continued it as long as I could, but by the end of the second week of my mandatory cumming regime I realized it just wasn't for me.
The arrangement might have worked under different circumstances. That is to say, if I'd had a girlfriend who would had set it, or even a chat acquaintance who I could be in contact daily. Someone who could have checked in on me to inquire whether I had already taken care of the day's task, and if I wasn't, to make sure it got done.
It seems chastity, or cum denial. is now either a permanent part of my sexuality, or an addiction I cannot quit. As I cummed on 31st of last month, knowing it would be the last for a while, I felt better immediately, more peaceful and calm I had been in ages.
A few days later the feeling of horniness and the familiar ache within my testicles returned. It may be what some people call "blue balls", something one feels only prolonged need to cum creates. For me it was an old friend or a companion that has joined me once again on my journey, a friend I had missed.
It has bow been a couple of weeks since my last cum, and especially during the past couple of mornings I have woken up extremely horny, and had nice amounts of erotic dreams as well. On some mornings I have even ended up humping the bedsheets extremely frustrated, which is always a good sign.
I believe this is at least partly thanks to exposing myself to quite a lot of porn daily. I also have the habit of keeping my porn Tumblr continuously open as I'm on my computer, to provide me a steady stream of erotic images to view, or to edge to.
No matter the reason behind it, my newfound horniness pleases me greatly. After all, the last thing I would want for my chastity to be easy. The whole point in denying oneself orgasms, in my opinion at least, is to make one (or at least ones body) desperate to cum and to enjoy the desperation not letting it cum creates.
The best part in my new ban is naturally the fact I have no idea how long it will last. There is no plan, no set release date. That feeling of uncertainty, a feeling of adventure, fills me with such anticipation and joy.
Even though I have no definite plans I do have a good feeling about this ban, a feeling it could be a longer one. After all, I feel I have cummed way too much this year already, so much one could say I am sick and tired of it.
Simply the idea of getting to do a nice, long denial period reaching double digits and last a few months at least, is extremely exciting. I do understand it's a slippery slope, though, and longer the ban continues, the less I desire to end it.
Many people may ask themselves isn't this lonely? Shouldn't I try to find someone in charge of my orgasms rather than denying myself? Well, of course this is lonely, utterly lonely. And yes, of course I shouldn't be in control of my orgasms. But in a way I feel denying myself is the next best thing for me, at the moment.