Thursday, May 30, 2019


A couple of days ago there was a piece of news on a feminist page on Facebook, about a 18 year-old girl who had made several pretty mean posts about 30 year-old men, apparently being fed up after being asked out by them. 

As was expected, many of the comments on the page were about what kind of creeps men are, and how no man in their thirties had business of asking an 18 year-old out. The discussion made me think, however. 

It would be very easy to see this just as an another example of men against women, or creepy older men against young women, but in my opinion the root of the problem lies deeper, in the gender roles of our society.

Men are still, after all these years, expected to be the one who "make the first step", to ask woman out, to propose and so on. It's a ridiculous and archaic custom, in my opinion, but still exists, very much so, I have noticed.

To generalize the matter, men are supposed to be those who pursue women, whereas women are supposed to be the gatekeepers and the prizes, and say no to unwanted suitors. If you do not fit in those roles you are either a wimp or a slut.

Imagine if the roles were reversed? If a young guy made similar comments about women in their thirties, don't you think everyone would be appalled? "Just who does this guy think he is?"

I don't blame the girl posting the things she did however, and I don't envy the role women at that age in our society have. Without going into detail, I have experienced what it's like to be woman on-line, and I must say it's not a fun place to be.

The bigger question however, is why there aren't stories around of young men being harassed and chased by women in their thirties. There aren't because the society teaches us it's supposed to go vice versa.

In fact, the stories about older women having sex with younger men are usually met with totally opposite reaction, and seen a sign of women proudly taking control of their sexuality. Whereas men doing the same are seen as old creeps.

The same thing applies to sex toys, and masturbation. A woman masturbating is exploring her sexuality whereas a man who masturbates is a sad loser who cannot get laid. The reason for this are the same gender roles I mentioned earlier.

In fact I have several times heard a woman say, after the subject of men saying no to a woman wanting to have sex with him has come up, something in the lines of: "Yeah, you can do that, but I wouldn't recommend it". At none of the times the woman wasn't joking.

Again to generalize the matter, in our culture men are more or less expected to have sex whenever it's offered by a woman. If a single man does that the first question usually is: "Why? Are you gay?" For women saying no is something you are "expected" to do. Something you have to, simply to survive.

If there were more cases where the roles are vice versa compared to the one in the post, stories of 18 year-old guys been made propositions by thirty year old women, in how many cases would the guys have had guts to make it public? How many "And you said no? Dude, are you crazy?" comments there would have been?

So yeah, in my opinion gender roles suck, big time, and in so many ways. I also feel emotions and sexuality are something that should be allowed to exist between all people, in spite of their age, size, race or gender. However, the roles we have in our culture make that very hard to accomplish.

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