2.7.2015

I celebrated my birthday with my Queen a couple of days ago. I don't usually celebrate my birthday, or at least people don't celebrate it with me, so it was nice change of pace to feel appreciated, even wanted.

The celebration wasn't anything fancy, but it gave us both to spend time with each other. We ate out at a nice Thai restaurant downtown, and had a coffee at a historic, sort of steampunk styled market hall. It was all very romantic, since I'm not used to things like that.

Afterwards we had sauna at my place and watched a movie. I got to show my Queen one of my all-time favourite movies as well as guilty pleasures: Elvira, Mistress of Dark (1988), and I was very relieved and pleased when she told me she had actually found it amusing.

I even got a present from my Queen, a copy of Ernest Cline's "Ready Player One" (I love that girl) as well as a packet of condoms with a date written on it. The date wasn't, unlike I thought at first, the date of my next actual orgasm, but another important future date, leading to it.

Naturally there was also some very nice edging involved. My Queen allowed me to masturbate for her again, and got nice and horny, but had to stay away from the edge. I'd like to get so close to orgasm I could feel it, but I don't trust my body anymore, and the idea of cumming accidentally simply scares me too much.

My Queen seemed to enjoy our little session, though. She says she likes to look at me edging, because I look "so incredibly beautiful" when I'm so frustrated and horny I'm almost losing my mind. It's still very hard to believe that, or the fact I actually look beautiful to someone. I love her so.

Lately we have tried to balance our sexual needs and preferences. Recently my Queen expressed her dissatisfaction due to the fact she has ended up as the dominant party, when in fact she enjoys being dominated as much as I do.

Since her happiness is very important to me, I put effort into it and, like she put it afterwards, "dominated her properly for the first time", with handcuffs, ice cubes and all. According to her she loved it, which is all I need to hear.

Being the dominant party requires effort from my part, but things like that are part of a switch relationship I suppose, with each party wanting to make the other party happy, and both loving each other very much.

Last but not least, a small piece of information concerning her visit. As a result of it I ended up borrowing my copy of "A KeyHolder's Handbook" by Ivey Green to her. I did it quite willingly, but I admit afterwards I've had some butterflies in my tummy. She seemed very interested about it. Oh well, what is done is done...