Thursday, July 16, 2015

16.7.2015

Okay, I think it's time for a frantic update, even though even my Queen doesn't have the details yet. She is currently very busy, and I don't want to disturb her with something as meaningless as my sexual life.

As you very well know, I have had couple of close calls, accidental ruined orgasms and sort of semi-orgasms, during my 600 or so days of chastity. They have happened without my control while I have been edging with me being nowhere near the edge.

Well, like I've told you, we have summer over here, albeit a little cold one, but it has caused nice erotic sensation in me. I wouldn't say I'm not horny and frustrated all the time, and in fact I hope I would be more so, but it has revived my libido in some degree.

Yesterday I was edging the way I normally do, browsing some erotic images, thinking about my situation and my Queen, and naturally pulling my very limp penis. Like I've told you, it doesn't get hard, even when I egde.

Then, quite suddenly, when I was having my cool off break between spurts, and without even being even that aroused, I felt... it starting to happen again. Quite out of the blue I felt the orgasmic build up approaching, with me unable to do anything to stop it.

I was naturally petrified with fear. I merely waited, without daring even to breathe, and examined the sensation. I was convinced accidental ejaculation would take place again, since this is the way it had happened the two previous times.

But then, it... stopped. After a build-up, and such sense of approaching ejaculation I could taste it. I was naturally very relieved, but it also made me quote nervous, even alarmed, to have been so close letting sperm spill out, once again.

I stopped masturbating immediately and directed my energy to other matters. However, all during the day I was strangely... tense, like being in overdrive. What had happened intrigued me so much that I decided to experiment and started to edge again after a few hours.

And, as amazing as it sounds, the same thing happened again. Or rather, almost happened, while I was pulling my limp dick. I knew now I had to be cautious, and managed to stop myself well in advance. But the orgasmic build-up was there, I could feel it.

I must say I was baffled. After all this time, after 600 days of cum ban, after a month and a half since my last spill, that took place in the presence of my Queen, what has caused my long-dead libido to be awaken this way?

And as if this wasn't strange enough, a few hours later, when I was in bed and almost falling asleep, and my thoughts wandered to what happened during the day and to the idea of me cumming, I swear, I felt it starting again. This time with no physical simulation whatsoever.

I naturally panicked, and managed to stop the approaching sensation. In a way it's a pity, though. It would have been interesting experiment. To know whether I could sum in my pants, with my dick completely limp, simply by thinking about it.

Even now, as I write this, and think of myself cumming, I feel the sort of... boiling sensation in my balls. Various erotic imagery has also much stronger effect on me now, and I get very unexpected flashes of horniness, and a tight, gripping sensation in my testicles.

In a way this is as intense experience that the sensations during my first, week long cum ban way back in 2012. By the time week was almost up, a mere picture of a woman's face on the cover of a fashion magazine could produce the similar effect.

However, I can't help but wondering, what the heck is happening in my balls? I'm baffled to say the least. Did the first, near-orgasm yesterday have this effect on me? An effect even more stronger that after the last actual ruined orgasm?

I know I should be glad and enjoy the frustration, since this is what I have wanted. However, at the same time I can't help but being worried, and the thought of edging fills me with apprehension, since the last thing I want is to ejaculate without the permission of my Queen.