I have
decided, on my own initiative, to stop experimenting on myself for now, since I
do not like the direction where the series of experiments have led me.
This
morning I conducted yet again one edging session, with the intention to bring
myself as close to orgasm as possible. My hope was to increase this way my
constant state of horniness I have noticed fades away very quickly after a
close call or an stifled orgasm. In a matter of days, in fact.
Just like
previously, it didn't take long to reach the familiar feeling of pressure
around my testicles that indicate the nearing orgasm. Even though it's very
hard to believe, we're talking about relatively short amount of time here, only
a few minutes of "active" masturbation time.
I wanted to
be very careful, and therefore stopped the fast stroking altogether and
continued to tease my limp penis with very, very slow strokes and keeping
perhaps half a minute long pauses every time I felt I was too close.
I knew I
should have stopped at that point and take a cold shower. However, the feeling
of orgasm being so close was so uncomfortable and a agonizing I wanted to
experience it a little bit longer. What happened then was expected, but still
very unfortunate.
I had let
go of my limp penis to let it cool down, when... it started again. Orgasmic
build-up simply appeared from somewhere and I realized my body had decided to
orgasm. This time I attempted to stifle it (a word I learned from my Queen) and
grabbed the head of my penis tightly, wanting to suppress what was happening.
I didn't
lose it, so to speak, at any point, merely squeezed the head of my limp penis
shut very painfully. I even walked around a bit, as I felt my soft penis
pulsate. However, I did feel the orgasmic spasms, whether I liked it or not,
and truth to tell it all felt all too much like an orgasm.
The
technique wasn't as successful as I would have liked it to be, in other
respects either. After a few minutes, when the spasms had subsided and I let go
of my penis, a small amount of yellowish sperm came out.
I must say
I wasn't pleased about the outcome of my experiment. I have no option but to
mark this day black in my cum diary, as an actual ruined orgasm, since this was
clearly something that can't be called a close call anymore. Only two months
since the last one. Way, way too soon in my opinion.
I examined
myself as one would examine a lab animal after the incident, and I wasn't at
all pleased to realize the physical sensations I felt were all too much like an
after state of an actual orgasm. There was a strange calmness and... well,
emptiness within my nether regions, something I hadn't felt in ages.
Truth to
tell, I hated it. The constant pressure, and the state of being tense were
gone. Sensations I had gotten so used to had been taken away from me. I felt so
calm and relaxed, something a man who has just orgasmed feels, and in my
opinion it wasn't something I was entitled to.
Therefore I
have decided to stop my experiments until further notice. This will mean my
libido and state of horniness will once again decrease, but in my opinion that
is way more preferable option than the alternative.
