Okay,
here's a little story, or rather a piece of some rather disturbing information,
that will interest only the ones who have followed my chastity project.
During the
last few weeks I have noticed, that my chastity has finally started to have an
effect on my libido. The stress and the fact I've been very busy may have also
affected me, as well as other factors, but basically I've felt no desire to
edge, in order to maintain my sexual frustration. It's as if my libido is
finally dying out.
Therefore I
have had to force myself to edge, since I don't want my chastity to be too easy
for me. Those who I've discussed about the matter know I can edge my limp dick
quite safely for hours, without a danger of an ejaculation. Or so I thought.
A few days
ago something disturbing happened. I had masturbated my limp little dick at
that point for hours, to get into the frenzy state I love. Just enough to feel
that sensation in my feet, when my body prepares to ejaculate. To get myself as
horny as possible, so close to the orgasm I can taste it.
Then, as I
was just sitting there, in front of my computer, not even touching my limp
dick, I suddenly felt... this a wave or ecstasy washing over me. I felt...
something trying to force itself out of my penis, and I was completely
powerless to stop it. I twitched a few times, not moving a muscle.
Needless to
say I was simply horrified. I don't want to fool myself. It was orgasm, sort
of, or a part of one. It was something I haven't felt for sixteen months.
Something I had forgotten all about now.
And I
assure you, It was awful. It was like a horrible nightmare. For so long being
without an orgasm had defined me. I am the one who keeps oneself in chastity.
The one who denies himself any sort of sexual release, and gets off on the
idea. It is what I do.
Someone has
asked me whether it a ruined orgasm? In a way it was, but nothing came out.
There was just the surge in my limp dick, and I felt two or orgasmic spasms.
Afterwards my little dick started pulsating in a weird, warm way. It did that
for a few minutes, and then ended.
Afterwards
I felt utterly, utterly filthy. It was as if something disgusting had made me
dirty, tainted me, made my chastity without meaning. I still want to continue my
cum ban. I didn't ejaculate. I don't want my torment to stop.
And above
all, I didn't grab my limp dick, and spoiled it all. I think there was once a
time when it would have been my immediate response. But now it was quite the
opposite. I just wanted the awful sensation to go away, wanted to stay pure. In
a way, I think, the experience has made me not wanting to cum ever again.
