4.11.2017

What comes in the life of a chaste sissy after Locktober? No-vember. *bada-boom-tshihh*

In my earlier post I had a lot to talk about, as I more or less came out of the closet, and described my emotional roller-coaster when it comes to dealing with and coming to terms with my newfound femininity. But this is supposed to be a chastity blog, as well. How is my chastity going?

As I said in my earlier post, I have now a special on-line friend who has expressed to me how much she likes to keep me denied and frustrated. She has allowed me to cum once, in the beginning of October, but has no plans of doing so again in a long, long while.

I am perfectly fine with all of this, because as all of the faithful readers of my blog know, I have desperately needed someone in my life who would care me enough to forbid cumming from me. Or, to look at it differently, to take away the burden and responsibility of deciding when and how to cum.

As I am writing this it is certain I won't cum any more this year. I have now 34 days of chastity behind me, and by the time it's time to pull out the fireworks the day count will be 91. Still pitifully low figure, I now.

As you know, I am a number nerd. I have kept a chastity calendar since 2012, and calculating my chastity in different ways have been fetish of mine for a long time, often in the way of contrasts my lack of sexual pleasure to that of someone else.

We have, in fact, kept a joint orgasm diary with my special friend, since the beginning of October. It's in the form of a Google spreadsheet she updates every day from her phone, and which I maintain and have developed further in the course of past month.

I am very happy I suggested the idea of my friend, since as soon as I had told her the ratio between her orgasms and mine after a mere few days, she got extremely excited about the idea. Math can be very sexy, since after twenty of her orgasms the ratio between us had dropped to 0,05, a fact we both found quite a turn-on.

The spreadsheet is, even though I say so myself, a piece of art I look at daily and usually masturbate while doing so, as well. As does she, I've understood, the only difference being she cums while doing so, whereas I do not, naturally.

Not only does the spreadsheet tell the number of her orgasms and it's ratio and percentage to mine, it calculates the time it will take, with the current average, for the ratio to drop under 0,001. In other words, when my friend has had 1001 orgasms.  

 

A thousand orgasms? I know the figure sounds enormous, but in my friend's case it's not that much. My friend is a multiple cummer, and is good at what she does. One might say she is as good in cumming as I am in not cumming.

In the course of the first month we have kept a record managed to cum 171 times, which sounds a lot especially compared to my one orgasm, but in fact it is only 5,5 orgasms per day on average. Naturally I try to help her cum as often as possible.

The math games have become quite an integral part of our mutual erotic life. For example we have both been fascinated how much her number of daily orgasms affects the total day estimate, or how many days there would be to go with the current orgasm rate.

If she comes a lot or at least over the current average, which is at the moment about five orgasms per day, the estimated date comes closer. But if she is otherwise busy and doesn't cum at all, it has a dramatic effect on the time we still have ahead of us.

In fact merely by controlling the number of orgasms she has daily she can keep the remaining days count as constant. The past few weeks it has remained nicely at 140 to 150 days and I hope it will stay there for a long time to come. The fact that no matter how much time passes the day isn't getting any closer is quite erotic.

We have also calculated how long it will take until she is unable to keep the number at current level before the laws of mathematics come into play. According my calculations, with current rate that would take place in mid March and after that it would take about a month for us to reach 1000 of her orgasms.

But like I have said, it all depends how many orgasms my friend will have daily. For example if she she started cumming merely once a day, it would take until February 2019 for us to reach 1000 orgasms. The truth, I think, is somewhere between.

We are now closing 200 of her orgasm, meaning it would take around five to six months in all for her to reach our goal. However, that does not automatically mean a permission to cum for me. The number of my orgasms to stay in one has merely been the condition for our calculations to be correct.

Truth to tell of us haven't even suggested anything of the such, not her nor me. In fact just a few days ago she mentioned she has no plans whatsoever to let me cum in next April, never has. She has always planned to keep me denied much longer than that. Since, as she says, she feels I could do so much more.

She would, in fact, very much like to make me break my previous chastity record this time. 

Meaning she would like me to be in chastity 497 days for her.

I admit, I had fantasized about just that for some time. Like I have stated earlier on this blog, I have had no illusions of ever being to break my 497 day record, partly because I didn't believe never being able to find anyone to do it for.

But now I have. I have now in my life someone who I am doing my chastity for, who actually likes me being denied, and is very determined about it.

But still, the step from 34 to 500 days of chastity is a huge one, and a commitment not to be taken lightly. If I had said yes it would mean I had willingly agreed not to cum even once in 2018. After all, breaking my record wouldn't take place until February the 10th, 2019.

The thought scares and horrifies me, and as such turns me on incredibly. To willingly commit oneself for such a long time would be insane. After all, I am not young anymore, and for me year and a half is a long time. Part of the reason for being horrified is naturally the fact I would like to say yes.

I would very much like to agree. Because it's the length of the time that I would have before is exactly the thing that makes it incredibly erotic for. Even the mere knowledge of my friend even asking me a thing like that is erotic beyond belief. I am edging my limp member furiously as I am writing this.

And isn't this exactly what I have wanted? I have whined for ages on this blog for not having someone to control my orgasms, and forbidding me to cum. I have now a person in my life who wants to do just that, and I'm still not satisfied? All this whining about such a meaningless thing as not cumming next year. Talk about ungrateful.

And lets not forget the fact she actually, truly wants me to do this for her. Thinking about the control she has over me, thinking about me sexually frustrated and denied, truly brings her pleasure. The idea of me not cumming makes her wet. Why should I be so selfish, and deny her that?

It may also be good to mention at this point that as you may have noticed, we are talking about merely breaking my record, not a permission to cum. My friend seems to enjoy great deal having a willing sub like me to play with, and there are no telling what her next goal would be.

Also, chastity is something the appetite for grows over time, and if past is any indication, after I reach 500 days, I most likely see no reason to stop there. I know myself too well.

As you can see from this post I'm a bit of an emotional turmoil right now. I would very much like to say yes, but at the same time the rational part of my mind keeps telling me it would make more sense to proceed with smaller steps.

After all, if I had known way back in November 2013 that I wouldn't cum for the next 497 days I'm not at all sure I'd had guts even to begin my chastity. What if the mere idea of the 465 days I would have before me is simply too much for me to bear?