I have for
some time now thought I should make a some sort of update, to explain a bit of
my situation, and to clear up some questions people visiting my blog or Facebook page seem to have.
I'm in
chastity. That means my Queen controls my orgasms. For almost a month now I have
been on complete wank ban. That means I don't have permission to masturbate,
edge, tease or touch myself in sexual way on my own. Nothing.
However, I
am not "caged" and I do not wear a chastity belt. For me the main thrill is to stay chaste simply because I love my Queen, not because some piece
of plastic or metal makes me do it. I could wank myself, but I do not, because
I have made her a promise. Simple as that.
We have
come to the conclusion the current arrangement suits us very well. I get
constantly aroused by the fact I can't touch myself, and when we are together
all attention my Queen gives mean so much more to me now. My Queen is in many ways the sole source of my enjoyment.
There is a lengthy history behind my chastity. The project begun way back in 2013, long before I had met my Queen. I had prior to
that completed several chastity periods for various reasons, but it ended up being the longest, after
the person in control lost interest in me.
In March of
this year, when the day count was 500, I told about my project to my
girlfriend, who was quite cool about the whole thing, and agreed taking the
responsibility of controlling my orgasms from now on. Which my Queen has done, quite
expertly.
During the
last few months I have had couple of slip-ups while edging. There were a few close calls, a couple of
ruined orgasms, and two produced by my Queen. All of them however took after
March, meaning I was completely chaste way over a year, and during the year
2013 I didn't have a single orgasm. I have had four "discharges" in 2014 so far. That's four ejaculations in 22 months.
In any case, since my
cum ban has now crumbled bit by bit, lately I made a decision to end it,
retroactively. That means changing history so that every little slip-up I've
had now count as orgasms. Meaning I have now had chastity periods lasting 7,
24, 497, 73 and 58 days. Currently the day count is at 17.
However,
even though I haven't been totally cum free during the last few months, November
the first, 2013, still marks the last time I had last the possibility to
masturbate and cum by my own hand simply because I was horny and wanted to. At
the moment I hope I will never have that possibility again.
So no, even
though we have dated for almost nine months now with my Queen, we haven't had
sex. At least in terms of intercourse, that is. There are some medical concerns which I won't go into here, that have prevented us from doing so.
One issue
that also comes up several times when talking to people is the fact I am
impotent. There is no other way to put it, and I am quite comfortable using the
term. It is caused at least partly by diabates.
I haven't been able to "get it up" way over a decade now, and my inability to perform more or less destroyed the sex life in my first relationship. My condition has also stopped me trying actively "to get some", so to speak, because I have considered there would be no point to it.
I get hard
on mornings, and sometimes when I'm with my Queen, but it never lasts more that
a few minutes. Viagra doesn't help, but Caverject does. However the
latter is a bit extreme option, as well as being rather expensive and so far I
haven't had any need for stiff cock.
At some
point, when the situation demands it, I will make a trip to the pharmacy, but
like I said, so far there hasn't been a need for it. And no, even though we
haven't had sex, my Queen doesn't have "another man on the side", nor
is she interested in interracial stuff. That stuff is very unknown here, due to
cultural differences.
Also,
lately my Queen has become quite skillful teasing my limp cock, and I hope she
will improve even more in the future. Also the fact that I am constantly horny
and usually haven't had any kind of stimulation there for week or more, helps.
I have in turn become very good with my fingers and lately also with my tongue. I love to make
my Queen orgasm, and I also encourage her to masturbate as much as she likes
when we're not together. I have merely expressed a wish she informs me about
her orgasms afterwards, since it is a great way to make more horny and
frustrated.
Thanks for sharing :),
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to reading about your journey