chastediary.blogspot.fi/2015/07/2272015.html
"I have decided, on my own initiative, to stop experimenting on myself for now, since I do not like the direction where the series of experiments have led me. This will mean my libido and state of horniness will once again decrease, but in my opinion that is way more preferable option than the alternative. There is a chance ejaculating followed with period of complete chastity will have uncomfortable and frustrating results. I have a hope this will be the case. Only time will tell."
In other words, a year ago we decided with my girlfriend it would be a good idea for me to stop all kind of inappropriate touching of myself, masturbating, edging, everything. The reason was the fact I had had too many accidents teasing myself on my own, the last of which a day before my decision, Today is the one year anniversary of my complete chastity ban.
In fact I think this is the first time I have been in complete chastity this long. The thing is I am fairly certain it didn't take a full year for me to understand during my first long really long one (and so far the longest) cum ban that it was quite safe for me to edge, even though I had no intention of letting myself to cum. There have been nothing like that during the past year.
And no, even though there is a lock as an illustration for this post it is merely a symbolic lock. As my faithful readers know, I feel no need to wear a piece of plastic on my genitals to stay chaste, since the one I do this for is first and foremost myself. Therefore I do my chastity simply by will power. All it really take is a simple decision not to cum.
Originally I think our intention was that my Queen could make me cum occasionally, and that did happen a few times. All in all cum escaped my testicles eight times in 2015, the last of which in November, 2015. Of course at the time I didn't know it would be the last one, just as I didn't understand my orgasm in November 2013 would be the last one I would have by my own free will.
Over the course of this year I managed to postpone my orgasm further and further, until my Queen agreed in early spring it would be nice idea for me not to cum in 2016 at all. I think one factor in her decision was the fact she had realized being in contact, seeing or thinking of male penises was something she didn't want to do, after all.
Even though my Queen has now lost her interest or ability of teasing me physically or verbally, or actively participating in my chastity project altogether I do hope I will achieve going the whole year without an orgasm, just as I did in 2014. More accurately, I hope to break my record of 497 and reach full 500 days, which would be in spring 2017.
I admit it has crossed my mind whether it would be a good time to start edge myself again, after a full year of complete chastity. Considering my Queen has lost interest touching me at all, meaning my penis doesn't get any kind of attention at the moment. Naturally I would have to get her permission to do that.
But truth to tell, I am not sure whether that would be a good idea. First of all, I do hope to break my previous record this time and starting to play with myself may just ruin that completely. Secondly, I have lately noticed I have now been without touching myself for such a long time not doing this has become so natural for me, a second nature you might say.
There have been mornings I have been laying horny in bed, looking at my quickly shrinking penis after a morning erection, and considered what it would feel to start masturbating again. To take hold of it with two fingers like I used to do it, and start moving the soft skin up and down, feeling the testicles coming alive.
There have been even times I have tried to move my hand closer to my limp penis, but it has refused to move an inch. It's almost as if there's a safety switch in my brain, that says: "No. That would be wrong. It is not for you anymore". Many times I have just sighed and gotten out of the bed instead.
In other words, if I really did decide to start edging or masturbating again, let alone cumming, it would require a huge mental shift in my head first. I have conditioned myself not to cum for such a long time now my mind doesn't seem to be able to cope with the idea anymore.
In fact in a mere week's time I will get to celebrate another important day. On July the 28th 2016 it will be exactly 1000 days since November the first 2013, which was, like I said, the date I stopped masturbating whenever I felt like it.
In any case, it's not easy not to cum. Not cumming itself is a piece of cake. It's all these huge decisions that make it hard. In my case I have noticed the most working solution is not make any kind of decision.
Or, as a friend of mine once said when I was contemplating whether I should continue my chastity after one hundred days or so:
"I think you will decide to continue. Continuing would be the safest option. And you like it safe. I know you too well."
