Saturday, April 30, 2016


Last October I published something I called "The Halloween Question and Answer special". It consisted of my answers to questions a page I follow on Facebook. For the past half a year the pile of similar answers has been growing, so it's high time for a second installment. Since I'm still not a man of few words this installment will be a long one as well. This one could be called "The May Day Question and Answer special".

What is your favorite thing about springtime?

Well, I can't deny it, it's the girls on the streets.

I love the feeling of going nuts seeing their in their short dresses. I'm a leg fetishist, and I usually get more out of normal summer wear than out of porn. The younger and more drop dead gorgeous women the better. I also enjoy thinking how out of their league I am.

I love the feeling of my testicles coming alive and feeling so desperate, or thinking what the girls I look at would think if they knew I haven't cummed by my free will for over two years. Next summer it will have been over six months of total chastity, and I have high hopes it will be excruciating time for me.

When was the last time you checked out a woman's ass?

Does checking your own girlfriend's ass count? I do it every time I see her walking, and can't believe how fortunate I am.

When was your last trip around an adult store?

It was way back in last summer. I brought my girlfriend there to get her a vibrator of her very own. Every girl should have one. Especially if they are in a relationship with someone whose penis is as useless as mine.

Could you be dominant if it pleases your lover?

I can, and I have. As has she. That's what they call love.

Have you had sex in the shower?

Does masturbation count? Since that's 99,99% on the sex I used to have, in shower or elsewhere. Nowadays I don't dare even to soap myself down there too thoroughly, because that could be interpreted as masturbating.

How many sexual partners have you had?

Depends what you mean with a "sexual partners".

If you mean all the women I have even kissed passionately I think figure could be as high as seven. But if you count only... let's say cunnilingus or other kind of more intimate fooling around, then the figure would be around three.

If the definition of sex is actual intercourse then the figure would be even lower. I would say two, or one. I didn't mention fellatio, even though men usually bring it up with questions like these, because I've never experienced it.

That's not much for 44 years.

Are you allowed to look and flirt or is that still cheating?

I think I have flirted with women as long as I have had some sort of social skills. However, it a strange kind of flirting because it has never had so called ulterior motive. That is, I don't do it to pick women up. I don't want to get into their panties. Quite frankly, the mere thought has always scared me.

Most likely I wouldn't know how to talk to women without flirting. But I think for me it's just being nice to them, and making them laugh. It's just a natural part of what I am.

Are you one of those guys who thinks size does not matter?

Oh, no. Quite the opposite. It matters a great deal. It is what separates real men from impotent losers like me.

If you were going to be a slave for a Mistress what type of slave would you be?

I think that is for her to say and me to obey. It is her needs that counts, not mine.

Finish the following sentences:

a) The next time I have sex I hope to...

...avoid ejaculating.

b) The last time I came it felt...

...wrong, messy, dirty, undeserved, disgustingly pleasurable, disturbingly normal and unpleasantly manly.

c) The more I think about a woman's ________ the hornier I become.

Hm. I would say voice.

If your sex drive was a sport which one would it be?

I don't watch sports. But then again, I don't have sex or masturbate either. Kind of fitting, wouldn't you think?

If you were given a chance to fuck the woman of your dreams but you had to first be denied and locked in chastity for one full year would you do it?

A hard question to answer. Let's just say if it truly were the woman of my dreams, she would prefer fucking me, not vice versa.

Do you ever get horny when super tired?

I don't know about tired, but I've always had the habit of getting erections if I sleep or doze. It is the one thing my penis still can do, even though it has never gotten hard when it should have been, in order for me to be able to make love to a woman.

When I was a teenager and still lived at my parents it was sometimes inconvenient. I remember some quite long car trips during which I sometimes dozed off in the back seat. When we arrived home I sometimes had really to struggle to hide the rock hard erection in my tight jeans.

Do you sleep partially or fully naked?

I try to do it as often as possible. Like I said, I tend to get erections while I'm asleep, However, recently I've noticed that if I sleep naked, bottomless or in some very loose shorts I will 100% certainty have an erections when I wake up. Being in chastity and forbidden to touch myself in sexual way it is so nice to wake up and see one's penis rock hard, and yearning for attention and release, something it won't ever get...

In your relationship, is masturbation considered cheating?

Very much so. At the moment even edging and playing with myself in an inappropriate manner is considered such. My Queen doesn't like the idea of me having any kind of sexual pleasure.

What tends to feel better for you, sex or masturbation?

Well, in my case the answer would be: "Neither".

How many times you cummed last year?

Way too many times. In 2015 I had eight instances one could call orgasms, or at least ejaculations. 

Four of them were ruined orgasms from my Queen, two really unpleasurable edging accidents, and only two could be called "normal" cumming from masturbation. They were all done under the observation and with the permission of my Queen. 

On 23th of July we also agreed it would be a good idea to forbid all sort of playing with myself while I'm alone. This rule still applies. Quite frankly the idea of masturbating on my own seems very unnatural to me now. 

My ejaculations took place in the 255 days between from 13th of March to 23rd of November, after which a drop of ejaculate haven't escaped my testicles. That makes about 31 days to one ejaculation. Not bad, wouldn't you say?

Okay, so how long has it been now? What's your record? Has your Queen been orgasming normally?

As of writing this it's been 150 days since my last ejaculation. That's a mere one quarter of 600 days. Think I could do it?

My record is 497 days, maddeningly close to 500 days. It would be so nice to able to break that record at least. Besides, this would be a record I would have made with my Queen, not a chastity period left over from another woman or women...

It's now been more or less one year since we started documenting my girlfriend's orgasms. In that time she has now had 158 orgasms, which is exactly 150 orgasms more than me.

Are you more productive in other areas of your life when you're locked up and not thinking with your penis?

Unfortunately no. When I'm denied of sexual pleasure I tend to think nothing but sex and masturbating, making me very unproductive indeed.

Does wearing a chastity device help you fill out your underwear? Has anyone ever noticed you're wearing the device in your everyday clothes?

As only a beginner, that's one the things that has kept me from wearing mine for long periods of time. I've tested it by doing short trips to the store and so forth, but that was in winter. The chance of someone noticing me wearing one is something I'm not yet ready to face.

What's your favorite way of being teased by your keyholder?

I love verbal teasing, commonly known as "talking dirty", that takes place online. after all, that's what 99% of my sex life has consisted of. Reminding me how long it has been since I've been allowed to cum, and how wonderful it feels for her to be allowed to orgasm whenever she wants drives me wild. The next best thing is actual verbal teasing, and only after that the physical teasing.

Would you ever sign a contract with your keyholder to stay in shape physically?

Why, of course. At least if it meant she would be in charge of my diet and physical exercise.

Tell us about your latest erotic dream.

It was a dream about masturbating in front of my girlfriend, and ending up actually ejaculating by mistake. I haven't had actual "wet" dreams in decades, thankfully. My body just created images in my head about things it wants to happen. Fortunately I'm a very chaste boy.

What about your last nightmare?

Some time ago I woke up today from a dream with a throbbing hard-on. In the dream I had been on my computer and a thing that I don't remember and had something to do with something else that made complete sense in the dream required that I masturbated, or did it at regular intervals.

As I was closing orgasm I realized: "What am I, nuts? I'm not allowed to cum!". I clenched my hand around the member and had a few spasms. Afterwards I had to taste myself in the dream, to make sure how the stuff that oozed out was. It was pretty thick and tasted of sperm.

I woke up from the dream and caressed my throbbing penis: "Awwww. So hard, and not allowed to cum, not even in a dream." Naturally I had to inform my Queen this as soon as I got chance. She seemed amused and pleased.

If you could have one pervy  super power, what would it be? The power to read peoples dirty thoughts, to see through their clothes, to make them have orgasms by will or something else?

I think there already is the perviest super power possible on comics as it is. Remember Reed Richards, aptly named Mr. Fantastic who can shape any part of his body into any form possible? I've always thought Sue Richards must be a very, very satisfied woman...

But as other possibilities go, I must say I think being able to make anyone orgasm telepathically would be extremely useful and amusing superpower. I would use it all the time if I had it. Mostly to women of course, but it would be so fun watching men squirting in their pants and trying to keep their cool.

Basically, making person to orgasm by will, or being able to read their naughty thoughts for that matter, is something every strong telepath in comics or in sci-fi in general could have and mostly likely has. But for some reason it is never mentioned.

How big are you? 

I decided I would add this one here at the end, to get it over with.

Dozens of times, if not hundreds of times when I've discussed on-line with fellow subs, sometimes even dommes, the line on conversation has gone the same way.

First they as what size am I. And no, they do not refer to my shoe or hat size. When I answer it they ask: "Soft or hard?" to which I reply the former. Then, every time, they ask how big it is hard then, to which I have had to answer, every single time, that it doesn't get hard, or that it never stays hard long enough for me to measure it.

Well, some time ago I realized I have a tape measure the kind of tailors use, and I took it out and placed it into a drawer of my nightstand. This morning I finally got to do the measuring, at the time of my punctual but very brief morning erection. Everybody ready for the result?


It's... 18 cm.

Or thereabouts. I think if had been rock hard, the way it is when I use drug that makes it stiff and an iron rod, it would most likely be even more.

I have no idea whether that big or small, and quite frankly, I don't care. That particular piece of my body has never been that much use, not for for me neither the members of the fairer sex.

However, I thought I should make a big announcement out of it, since the fact seems to have such a big importance to so many people.

And no, I'm still not going to send you pictures of it. Go find photographs of penises somewhere else, you perverts.

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