30.5.2015

My second experiment in achieving a over-sexual period after 74 days of without any kind of discharge doesn't seem to be as big success as the previous one. There's a constant pressure down there, but not the kind of half-crazy lust like the last time. Too bad. The summer is finally here, and all. Bummer.

27.5.2014

Hmmm. Time for a status update, I suppose. The thing is, I had an accidental ruined ejaculation again. This time, however, there's an upside to the matter, since my Queen was present at the time. She likes, I've lately noticed, to see me masturbate and edge for her, something I am very, very pleased about.

The incident itself was rather curious, however. When I happened I wasn't even touching my dick. It was very soft and limp at the moment, and I had let go of it five to ten seconds earlier. And even though I was very turned on from the masturbation that had lasted quite a while at that point, and from watching deep into my Queen's eyes as I did it, I wasn't even near the edge, in my opinion.

Nevertheless, suddenly it just... started. The orgasmic build-up in my balls begun, grew, and then, with me completely unable to do anything to stop it, and holding my Queen tight, sperm started to spurt out of my limp penis. There was three or four lazy spurts and there I was, completely baffled about what had just happened.

I wasn't the only one who was baffled, though. As the incident took place, my Queen was totally clueless what was happening, since this was the first time I ejaculated in her presence, and it was far from what she knew male orgasm looked like. I don't blame her, Just think of it: me looking at her, in complete silence, my eyes wide open, with a look of astonishment and horror on my face.

My cum, my Queen commented later on, was apparently very clear and watery, not the thick white stuff she expected to see. I don't doubt that at all. After all, there had been two and half months since the last "discharge", and it's very probable my ejaculation had very little actual sperm in it.

Afterwards I was naturally shocked, ashamed, mad at myself and not knowing what to think about the whole thing. My Queen wasn't at all mad, however, which made the whole thing much easier to bear. She even said that me being so ashamed was something very cute to look at.

Also, if everything goes the way it did last time, I should have in front of me a couple of very torturous weeks, as my testicles start, as one of my friends put it, "to churn new stuff that wants out".

I can't help but to wonder, however, the logic and mechanism my testicles seem to be working with. What I experienced shouldn't be possible. It almost feels as if, considering the length of my chastity period, my libido has journeyed somewhere where the laws of normal anatomy do not apply anymore.

10.5.2015

Last night my girlfriend (aka my Queen) and I reached an important milestone in our relationship. That is to say, we watched "Star Trek" together.

Even though many of you may see this as something amusing, it had a great importance for me. One could even see it as a crucial "girlfriend test". Naturally, not wanting her to fail it, I mentioned this to her, and she seemed genuinely amused by my nervousness.

The episode I chose was "The Emissary" from TNG and I'm glad to say she passed the test. At least she didn't say it was the most boring thing she had ever seen, and she said she would be willing to watch some more later. In my book that's passing.

7.5.2015

I just realized. The First of May celebration, which itself is a huge thing over here, marked not only the first full calendar month I've been in chastity controlled by my Queen, but also the full eighteen months of chastity. Eighteen months. That's exactly one and a half years. And I didn't even realize it at the time. This is so embarrassing.

14.4.2015

The four week anniversary of my Queen being in charge of my ejaculations was a success. I got to do my Queen a small pedicure, and then paint her toenails bright red. I still need more practice, since I wasn't all that satisfied with the end result. Then again, it was the first time in ten years I got to do it.

My Queen also wanted to give me a sort of "bad boy" makeup, using a black makeup pen around my eyes. Apparently she had wanted to do it for a long time, and I was amazed how turned on I got, merely by being her canvas, a plaything she used to have fun with.

I also got to show off for her some of the fetish gear I have. Not only the two pairs of black women's leather boots I own, but also the tight black PVC pants, sleeveless shiny black shirt and a black leather vest she apparently likes a lot. According to her I looked such a "bad boy" wearing them she had difficulties looking at me without giggling.

Then I naturally masturbated her to orgasm.

13.4.2015

First full month, or four weeks, during which my cum ban has been supervised by my Queen. We are going to celebrate it today by spending a bit of quality time together. Apparently she is letting me to do her toe nails. She has also been rather enthusiastic to see the pair of women's boots I own. I'm feeling so giddy!

27.3.2015

There is something I need to tell you all. Something that may surprise you quite a lot. Something even myself have trouble coming terms with. Some of you know about it already, some of you have been totally unaware of it. I apologize for keeping this a secret, but I have had to twist my head around it myself before I do it, as well.

I… have a girlfriend.

Yes, I know. It seems ridiculous. A male with my history, and total lack of means of keeping a woman happy, and sexually satisfied? I have trouble understanding it either. Truth to tell I had already lost the hope of ever finding a woman in my life ever again, someone I could share my life, and myself with.

But yet, it happened. This stunning, beautiful, funny and smart young woman walks into my life and seems for some reason to be interested in me. And for the first time in my life I have the guts doing something about it. Despite knowing I couldn’t ever be enough for her.

It has been happening gradually over the last few months. I have told her, bit by bit, all about me, and my fetishes, and she has turned out to be very open-minded about everything, despite having almost as limited history of actually practicing sex, than I have.

A little over week ago I finally took the last step and told her about my cum ban. On the 500th day of my chastity, as it happened. It was one of the toughest things I have ever done in my life. My heart raced and I was in the verge of having a panic attack.

And you know what? She was totally cool about it. She seemed even to be a little amused, saying she didn’t understand how come telling me this was such a big deal?

At that moment it felt a ton weigh had been lifted from my chest. Prior to that I had felt as if I had cheated on her, by not telling about my cum ban. And I was mortified, thinking how she might react, and how it would affect our relationship.

I’ve been delirious the past week and a half. I’ve told her over and over again I have the coolest girlfriend in the universe, and she has continued to be amused, even puzzled, watching me react this way. If I like something, and don’t harm anyone else, where’s the harm?

I loved her even before, but after our discussion my love for her became tenfold. At the moment she’s the sexiest woman in the whole world for me. And as incredible as it is, she seems to be crazy about me, as much as I’m crazy about her. Despite all my shortcomings.

I know you’re all thinking the same things I’ve had. What about his cum ban? Is it all over now? Will they start fucking now? I thought the sorry excuse of a man wasn’t able to get it up? Is she dominant? Is she his girlfriend now, or a Mistress?

These are all valid questions, and something I have had gone over and over in my head, questions we have talked about as well. There’s a million and one things to solved.

Like I said earlier, she’s very open-minded and loves me very much, which itself carries you a long way. Neither has she demanded I end my cum ban instantly, and start cumming, of fucking her like a normal man.

Quite the contrary, she seems to be interested becoming the one supervising my project from now on, a responsibility I have been offering to her quite eagerly. I don’t mind if she orders me to cum tomorrow, because I would do it under her control. My orgasms belong to her now.

I have finally made it, is seems. There’s finally something in my life I have longed, for so long. A woman I love, and who loves me enough to overlook my shortcomings. I cannot believe how fortunate I am.

From this day on my chastity, body and soul belongs to my Queen.