Have you ever sexted anyone, or had cyber sex? How did you like it?
Well, truth to tell, almost 90% or more of my so-called sex life has taken place virtually. So the answer would be yes. As for did I like it, lets just say it's something I've done, since there hasn't been alternatives. In fact, every time I have been physically intimate with someone it has taken me a bit of time to gotten use to. Compared to cyber sex, in which imagination plays such a big role, "real" sex is, in a way, rather crude activity.
When you are sad or down does masturbation help you feel better?
At the moment I don't masturbate at all. When I did, there was times when it was the only fun I had during the whole day. Sometimes it was the only thing I looked forward to before getting home from work or school, for example.
When you masturbate the troubles of your life disappear, for a moment at least. I think that may have been one reason I was so addicted to wanking. As long as you masturbated you didn't have to think about your troubles, or your life, or rest of the world. There was only you, and your penis.
The downside to all of this is naturally the fact that after you've spilled your seed it all comes back again. Very often men also seem to get, or I did at least, a post-orgasm blues, feelings of shame, disgust and disappointment at yourself.
Good thing I don't have to worry about such things anymore.
The last time you got a blow job you felt: a) awkward, b) amazing, c) wished it was you sucking cock instead, d) luckiest guy ever.
As amazing as it may seem, I've never gotten one. Not a proper one at least. I'm 44 years old now, and quite frankly, I fear I won't ever get one. But I will tell about it as soon as a miracle like that happens.
I would say something like that happening would have been almost impossible to someone with my past. That is, considering I lost my virginity at 33, and having only two long-term girlfrends after that, the first of which hated cunnilingus and fellatio, ad the second one clearly having a some sort of penis aversion as well.
As for having to feel it some day, let's just say it's just of the many things I've accepted I won't ever get to experience. My Queen doesn't seem to like the idea and I don't want to pressure her the more than I have.
In a way, when I think about the activity in question, I feel it's something that's supposed to stay off-limits for me. It's so... manly and masculine. And apparently also way too pleasurable for someone like me.
I can't help but to think if it actually took pace some day I would merely go "I do not deserve this!" in my my head, and wouldn't be able to enjoy it, or get slightest bit hard.
Let's say were told you can cum every day for one month. If you didn't cum every day you would be denied for six months. Would you do it?
In my case the biggest challenge would be being cum daily, not the chastity part. I would simply love to be cumless for six months once again, hopefully much longer.
However, it's been so long since I last masturbated and orgasmed by my own free will I feel I no longer deserve it. Male cumming seems so selfish somehow, and it would feel very weird for me, as well as very wrong.
Naturally I were ordered to do it by my Queen for example, and report to her afterwards, I would do it. And who knows, maybe after a month like that going back to the no touching, no cumming routine would be much more frustrating than my chastity has recently been.
Also, if my orgasms during that thirty days were ruined ones, or I was made to do it in a way it would give me as little enjoyment as possible, I may be more okay with it. Or, if was made to orgasm by other person. I know all too well how to make it feel as pleasurable for me as possible.
However, the bottom line is I would do it, but I wouldn't like the idea, since the way I am now, cumless, frustrated and denied, makes me feel very nice, that is, chaste and pure.
Let's say you have been denied for eight months. What thing do you think would turn you on at that point?
It is very easy for me to answer that one, since it's now over 22 months since I started being denied. Simply put? The thought of being denied.
I know it sounds odd, but I can't even begin to estimate how many times during that last two years I have gotten incredibly turned on simply by watching the counter counting painfully slowly the seconds, minutes, hours days, weeks and months from my last ejaculation. Either counting up, or down, to the next full year. I have noticed the bigger the day count is, in both cases, the more tormenting and therefore more exciting it is for me.
I have also noticed the most exciting part is not knowing. When I started the chastity game I had no end goal, and for a long, long time I did the denying all by myself. And since there was no one deciding when I should ejaculate, I kept doing it as long as it felt good, and since the bigger the count got, the better it felt, I saw no reason to stop.
During the last six months, when I have had a Queen who knows about my chastity project and has taken the responsibility of controlling my orgasms, it has been doubly exciting. Now the decision isn't even in my own hands anymore (pun unintended). In fact it hasn't been in anyone's hands, since for a long time she didn't have any specific plan when she is going to let my cum either.
The ultimate fantasy for me, I suppose, is the idea of being permanently denied. Being told that I am not going to cum ever again as long as I live. Ever, never never. That I am being denied the sexual relief, the basic human right, for good.
I know now, however, that this will not be the case. My Queen has recently informed me she wants to see my cum when we will have sex for the first time. I do not feel bad about it, and I do believe it is quite fitting to do so. After all, my orgasms are hers, to do with them whatever she wishes.
What happens after that, however, is a mystery, for me as well as to her. Who knows, it may very well be the last time I will cum this year. In fact that idea excites me a great deal. Than again, she may want to see me cum more, but in any case, it's not up to me now.
Hands-free orgasms. Have you had one, and how was it?
Most people seem to think hands-free orgasms are awful. And I quite agree. From a perspective of a normal male, used to having intercourse or masturbating regularly, ending with a glorious, full, satisfying orgasm, hands-free ruined ones must be awful.
However, I would say they are awful only when they are unwanted. I've had three of them during my life, all during the last few months. The first one was in March, the second one in May and the third in July. Mind you, with one exception they were the only orgasms I've had during the last 22 months.
Two of them happened while I was edging, and they were complete accidents. I had no intention of cumming, or letting myself to cum. I simply wanted to torment myself, to feel the urge but ultimately deny myself and leave myself frustrated.
However, in each of the occasions, even though I thought I wasn't nowhere near the edge, while I was having my cool-off period, my body betrayed me. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I started to convulse, and sperm started to spurt out of my limp penis, and I was completely unable to stop it. I hated it so.
The third took place while my Queen was edging me. She had no intention of letting me cum either, but while we were having a cool-off period, similar thing happened, and took us both completely off-guard. At the time my Queen didn't even understand I was actually having an orgasm, since this was the first time I had one at her presence.
During the last couple of months we have gotten much better in anticipating them, and keeping me from the edge. We have even discussed that when the time comes she decides it would be a good idea for me to cum, we could try getting closer and closer to the edge, perhaps on several occasions, the last one of which would result to an orgasm, but a one that would happen completely without any kind of touching.
That is to say, we very much like the idea of my fifth orgasm this year to be a ruined one as well.
The whole matter has even amused us somewhat. For most males the idea of having a ruined orgasm is an awful one, a punishment, something that is meant to be very unpleasant for the male. In my case having even a ruined orgasm would be so much more, compared to what I'm getting now.
In case anyone is interested, there are longer reports of each incident on my blog:
The last incident, of course, was the one that led me and my Queen to the conclusion it would be a good idea not to touch myself at all when I'm on my own. Only she has the right to touch, stimulate and play with my penis now, making all attention she gives to it so much more important and special.
Would you ever say no to a woman who wanted to do your favorite things to you?
Is this a trick question or something?
Finish this thought. Ruined orgasms from a cock tease make me...
...grateful beyond belief.
If you were to go to an adult store today what is one item you would definitely purchase?
At the moment I'm seriously considering a penis sleeve or sheath of some kind.
The thing is, my Queen has let me understand she would like us to have intercourse in the near future, but that would mean I would have to cum, and that's something I'd like to postpone in the future as much as possible.
A cock sheath of some kind would allow her to fuck me, but it would be possible for me to avoid orgasming and sexual pleasure altogether, or at least minimize it.
As I write this, it's very uncertain how often we will end up having actual sex. It seems my Queen isn't into penetration that much, but when she gets a taste, so to speak, she may love it.
It's just as possible she will hate it, and wants to have only clitoral stimulation in the future. In a way I hope that will be the case. That will mean there would be much less chance of me getting to to cum in the future.
Are you planning anything naughty for Halloween?
I hope I will, since the day or so after Halloween will be the two-year anniversary of my masturbation ban. Cum has escaped my body after that, but the first of November, 2013, at 6:31 AM was the last time I masturbated and ejaculated by my own free will the last time, like a normal man. Time for a celebration?