Thursday, November 5, 2015


In my most recent post I hinted at a upcoming anniversary. Two full years has passed since I last orgasmed by my own free will. When one year was up I didn't celebrate it in any way, mostly because I had no one to celebrate it with. For the most part my chaste life has been a very lonely one. 

Like I've told you, my Queen has hinted she would like us to try intercourse before the year ends. There has been numerous reasons we haven't done so, even though we have dated for almost a year now. I won't go into too much detail here.

What I can say is that one of the reasons is my impotence. Some time ago I got a prescription for a drug called Caverject, which you inject into your penis. It gives you a rock hard erection lasting up to several hours if needed, making it possible even for impotent men to have intercourse. 

I used the drug with my first girlfriend, because I was impotent even back then, but I have had my reasons to postpone using it again. The thing is, for a male using it is really uncomfortable, even painful. 

One influencing factor for me wanting to make it happen now was also the fact that this would also be the 100th orgasm my Queen has had since we started counting them earlier this year. In the same time I have had five orgasms, almost all of which have been "ruined" in some way or another.

In other words, I had came to the conclusion that if my Queen wanted to feel my hard penis inside her, this was the perfect opportunity for it. So, I went to the pharmacy and got the medicine, but didn't tell about it to my Queen beforehand, since I wanted it to be a surprise to her.

On Saturday there was a Halloween party we both had to attend, and the plan was I was to stay the night and the following Sunday at her place, like we often do. By the time we arrived at her place it was already way over 4 AM. This was handy, since the exact time the clock turned two full years was that Sunday morning, first of November, 06:31. 

This gave me a good oportunity to tell her the time was at hand, and also about my purchase. She was surprised, to say the least. 

I also got to explain to her that knowing what I did had been the reason I had been somewhat nervous the whole night. Also the fact she had looked sexy as hell in the party hadn't helped. So sexy in fact, I was a bit intimidated by her all through the night. 

Doing the deed, so to speak, had to wait till we had slept, however, and it was a Sunday afternoon before we finally begun. It was clear we were both very nervous. We both also agreed it was very weird to realize how "goal-oriented" the whole situation was.

How did it go, then? Again, I do not want to go into too much detail, but let's just say the first trial run wasn't a complete success. It could have gone better, and we could have handle it all better. Me included. 

I've had very little experience in my life when it comes to old-fashioned fucking, and the last time I had done it must have been more or less a decade ago. My Queen has had even less experience than I have. In a way it felt we were two 16-year-olds trying to figure how everything works. They make it look so easy in porn. 

They say "the first time" is always very awkward and weird. This seems to apply even though you had had sex before, just not with the person in question. Also, it occurred to me they say doing it is like riding a bicycle. But I suppose before you learn how to ride one, it can be awkward, painful and full of failures, as well.

I also found out the Caverject is as nasty stuff for me to use now as it was a decade ago. It gives you an incredible hard on all right, but it also takes away the sensitivity. To put it bluntly, at times it felt almost as if I were pushing an iron rod attached to my groin into my Queen's vagina.

One could say that the moment we're both better at pleasuring the other person with other means than by actual fucking. Then again, we've both had more experience in it, during the past year.

One proof of that is the fact that the whole thing became way more erotic, arousing and hot only after we had stopped actual fucking. First I made her orgasm by hand, which she seemed to enjoy very much, after which she gave me a wonderful hand-job.

Earlier on we had tried to turn each other on by talking naughty during the intercourse, and realized we need a lot more practice to be able to do both talking and fucking at the same time.

"Who knows, this may be your only chance to cum", she said as I was fucking her. "I may not let you have a real orgasm the rest of the year, if you don't cum now."

Well, as it turned out, I was nowhere near to cumming during the whole time. Not only was the whole thing a mess, technically speaking, the drug also made my cock so hard and insensitive I could have fuck her for eternity and not to cum myself.

When she was masturbating my still semi-hard penis, which now had regained some of its sensitivity, she started cooing:

"Wouldn't it be simply awful if I ruined this one for you as well?" she asked me. "You had your chance earlier, so now all you get would be only a ruined orgasm?"

"Mmmm-hmmm", I said, because speaking was difficult for me at that point. "It w-would."

"Oh yeah?" she said, milking me faster. "What if I tell you you'll have to inform me if you're about to cum?"

"I will say, of course."

"Okay then, say it when you're getting close."

"I will" I said, eyes closed.

It took us two attempts to get me over the edge. First time I told my Queen to let go a bit too soon, and I didn't ejaculate after all. Afterwards I realized it would have been a good idea for her to have a pause and let me cool down a bit, before continuing.

However, without a pause she took hold of my semi-hard penis and started milking me again. After a few strokes I had to tell her to let go of it, which she did. There was a few seconds pause, and then I felt a nice big load of sperm shooting out of my penis.

It felt glorious. It was so... energetic, vigorous and divine. I felt sperm coming out of my penis, a spurt after spurt, and heard my Queen complementing me. 

Even though the little milking session has grown into immense proportions in my head, it didn't last that long. According to her, from the moment she poured lube into her hands, to the moment I spurted, it hadn't been much more than a minute. What can I say, my Queen is great in giving handjobs.   

It felt so good, in fact, that it was a bit hard for me to think of it as "a ruined" orgasm. However, according to all the porn videos I've seen, that's exactly what it was. It seems that being completely denied for two full years have taught me to appreciate even ruined orgasms.

I have observed myself the past few days, and so far it would seem my most recent, rather abundant ejaculation didn't have have negative effects in my libido. Like I told you earlier, I have been rather horny lately. During the last few days I've noticed the cumming didn't take that away. If possible, I have felt even more horny.

All in all, as far as the fucking goes, I would say the first trial run could have been better, but it could have been worse, as well. Practice makes perfect, they say, but according My Queen she has no definite plans now, since she's very busy with her studies at the moment. 

In other words, when will be our next trial run be, or when I will be allowed ejaculate next time, is so far a complete mystery. Only time will tell.


  1. Wow, very hot! Not knowing when the next time will be must make it even more exciting.

  2. I am 3 months into a 12 month contract. She asked if I would like to cum celebrate her Birthday.
    I said sorry I will not break my contract with you even for your birthday Mistress...

  3. Hi! Anything new lately?