4.7.2018

I think I should share something with you that may or may not interest you. It's not strictly speaking anything erotic, nor does it have much to do my sexuality, as such. But it is nice public exposure, in more ways than one. And you all know how much I like exposing myself and what goes inside my perverted little mind to you.

The thing is, lately I have seen quite a lot dreams in which I am nude in public. Nudity isn't as big a taboo over here where I live, than in say USA or rest of the Europe, but personally I have never been that comfortable with it. That applies to my nudity dreams as well, and I usually find them humiliating. Not in a good way that is.

But lately there has been a lot of them. However, it doesn't take a Sigmund Frood to figure what they're about. They're about the project I'm involved in. It's a pretty high profile thing, and I am constantly worried how it is seen from outside, how the scene sees it, and me, since I'm the one in charge.

So yes, since I feel I'm center of the attention, which is not usual for me, "naked" in the eyes of the others, that gets reflected in my dreams. What's weird though I haven't been nearly as ashamed in my dreams as I should be. 

The dreams aren't sexual, not the tiniest bit. Somehow I just end up walking in public places nude in the dreams, or I get nude in public. But the weird thing is I don't seem to be ashamed of it. Not in the least bit. 

"Yes, I'm here stark naked, wow. All these people can see me nude. Okay, so what?" Or: "Yes, I am changing clothes in front of a lot of strange young women. You can see my penis, so what? Yes, I know it's tiny. You haven't seen one as tiny before?"

I can only suspect it means that in terms of the project I'm in charge of I have managed to build some degree of... well, self-esteem, or guts. I know everyone is looking at me, but I'm dealing with it.