14.12.2015

This blog post is quite a different one, compared to some of the last few ones I've published. Most of it was written several days ago, but I can publish it only now. I will explain.

Like most of you probably remember, some time ago, when my penis took quite a damage and having a band aid on it made it feel like having a chastity device on, I started to think about the idea of actually getting one.

The quality models, however, I noticed, cost way, way too much and I had to drop the idea. Also the conversation I had with my girlfriend, during which she said that even if the idea is fun as a fantasy, putting me into one and taking the key would be a bit too much for her, made me to reconsider it.

The idea kept going on and on in my mind, however, and to tell the truth, for days I couldn't think anything but. Especially after I came across on eBay with a model that didn't cost much more than ten euros, and promised a free delivery, I became almost obsessed with the idea.

Also having fun with medical tape after my penis had healed up, putting it on my penis before I go into bed, and hoping I will wake up to a painful erection during the night as my penis tries to get hard, made me wonder whether a chastity device would have similar effect.

Finally, after getting encouraging feedback from the fetish site I am, I decided to risk it and ordered the device. I knew what my girlfriend had said, but then again, I thought, she had bought herself sex toys some time ago without telling me about, so I had a right to buy toys for myself, just as well.

I was being told you usually get what you pay for, but I felt ten euros was a sum I could risk losing, instead of investing over hundred euros to it. Also, being as cheap as it was, I knew I wouldn't most likely be able to keep the device on for 24/7. However, I had no such plans, so what did I have to lose?

Finally, last Friday the package arrived and I picked it up the next day. I was excited and giddy, for a reason.  There was a thing both me and me my girlfriend attended that day, and after it she asked whether I would like come to sleep at her place, even though she had said earlier she needed time to study.

I was tempted, but for once I thought we needed to be sensible, so I declined. It was also partly because the temptation to tell her about the package I had with me would have been a great one, and I wanted to open and try the device on by myself, just in case it turned out a really, really bad purchase.

So, last night I came home and opened the package. Here are the first impressions. Firstly, it seems it's true what they say. You do get what you pay for. The device was made of silicone, basically a very cheap rubber, and looking at it I could see one could get out of it with sturdy scissors. Also, I have to admit, it looks way much better in the picture.

I was also bit surprised to discover, as I put it on, that even though I had picked that particular model because it was extra tiny, my limp dick filled it only half way. The main problem with the fitting, however, was that tube was slightly too thin for my penis, making it stuck to the walls.

In fact part of the problem was my penis is so short the head even doesn't reach the space reserved for it in the end, but is stuck in the halfway. Trying to reach it through the opening in the end and pull it forward by fingers won't help either, because the penis is simply so small.

Even bigger problem, however, was the part you put behind the testicles. Even though I picked the biggest of the several rings that came with the product, it was really, really tight for my testicles. It seems I indeed have small penis but huge balls. In fact the ring squeezed them rather painfully, making me doubt it was safe to even to try sleeping with it on.

I also realized, after putting some clothes on, that this definitely wasn't the kind of a device you could  wear 24/7. The device was quite visible even when I had my pants on, and the pins keeping it together could be seen through the fabric.

So, it was not a complete success, at first, and when I was going to bed I was somewhat disappointed, and pretty sure I had wasted my money. At some point of the night I even took the device off because having it of hurt too much, and put it on my night table.

After a quick visit to the fridge I put some tape on my penis, from sheer frustration, and continued my sleep. Some time later, if I recall correctly, I decided to give the device one more try and stuffed my taped penis into the tube and put the device on again.

What happened then was one of the intense sexual experiences I have ever experienced without another person involved.

During the night my penis had started to get hard, like I hoped it would, but thanks to the tape and the rubber tube around it, there was no way it could do that. My mind did what human mind in situations like this does, and attempted to make the sensation a part of my dream.

In the dream I was up, and walking about at my place, and being very turned on, with a huge erection. I wasn't masturbating it, but I remember being so turned on I considered what it would feel to cum, and to get all that sperm out. However, even in my frenzied state, I knew wasn't supposed to.

Then I woke up, feeling disoriented and realized what was happening. I believe a sweet, satisfied smile appeared on my face, as I removed the bedsheet to see what was taking place dowstairs. It had worked, and I was happy beyond belief.

I squirmed, and writhed in my bed as I enjoyed the sensations. It was so tormenting, so frustrating and so abso-friggiging-lutely hot I was going out of my mind. I felt my balls were about to burst and I felt the uncontrollable urge to empty them. I felt my penis throb and pulsate in the tight rubber tube, but I knew I had no chance, or desire, to touch it.

As the erection started to go away gradually I was able to think a bit more coherently, even though I was still extremely aroused. I examined the rubber device I had on and turned it left and right. It felt extremely good, and I even tried to "jerk off" with it on, that is to say, pulled the device a few times up and down as if I had been holding my penis.

It was frustrating, but as I did it, I also realized that, if in my turned on, frenzied state, I kept doing it, I would have no trouble whatsoever to make myself cum inside it. So, as far as purely from chastity point of view, my new toy was all but "secure". I even tried to imagine how frustrating it would feel, to have such ruined orgasm.

A bit later I also noticed, not even that turned on anymore, that if I lay on my side and the device was between my thighs, and I squeezed it lightly, the rubber tube changer its form a bit, resulting in quite a nice sensation on my penis. I suspected I could have make myself cum quite easily that way aw well. It seemed I had much more chances to make myself with the device on than having nothing on my penis.

Finally I got up, still disoriented, and decided it would be best to put down my thoughts, when they still were fresh in my memory. I'm writing this on my computer, the device still on. My penis is once again in its shrunken state, filling not even the third of the tube's length.

My balls seem to have adapted to the ring around them, and it doesn't feel nearly as uncomfortable as it did earlier. This is most likely due to the fact the rubber part has bit itself into them, and it will hurt when I take it off.

I know I will have to take it off sooner or later, but at the moment, I just don't want to. Not because I know taking it off will hurt, but because having it on feels too good.

So, maybe the ten or so euros weren't completely wasted, after all.

PS. This post is being published only after I have told to my girlfriend about the purchase, for her enlightenment as well as enjoyment. I love you.

9.12.2015

"This is the night, it's a beautiful night..."

It seems that lately every other blog post of mine has started the same way. This one is no exception. I got to spend another weekend with my Queen. It was doubly exciting for us, since it also marked the one-year anniversary of our relationship. 

For both of us going to see a certain movie together a year ago marks the starting point of our relationship, even though at the time neither of us was sure whether it was actually a date. Despite the fact we most likely couldn't have been more nervous, even we had call it a date.

To celebrate the day we dined in an authentic Italian style restaurant that's so popular one needs to have a table reservation there. It may sound common practice to some of you, but that's way beyond fancy for me. It wasn't exactly out of "Lady and the Tramp" but not far off either. 

Like all faithful readers of my blog know, last weekend with her turned out rather steamy. Considering all this, it's no wonder I had all sort of romantic conceptions in my mind about the upcoming weekend. As far as the sex goes I sort of expected we would have simply continued where we left off. Unfortunately that was not the case, not at first at least. 

The thing is, after the previous weekend my Queen had experienced some pain in her nether regions, as well as other symptoms, despite the fact I had tried to be as gentle with her as possible. Whatever the reason for the symptoms was, my Queen was understandably not in the mood for any hanky panky on Saturday.

Well, actually that's not entirely the case. At least if you count wearing your girlfriend's underwear as hanky panky. I will explain.

Some days earlier we had chatted online and I had mentioned her the underwear she had left at my place for me to wash. One thing led to another and I ended up trying them on as we chatted. My Queen was rather surprised to hear they fit me. 

Naturally, my Queen said, she would be interested to witness it first hand as well. She also mentioned she has several pairs of panties she bought some time ago, but soon realized she doesn't like very much. She could perhaps donate some of them to me to wear. 

So, after we had arrived at her place on Saturday my Queen said she had a present for me. It was a small gift-wrapped package that contained a pair of red briefs she had bought for me, thinking my ass would look nice in them, as well as a pair of black women's panties she had mentioned earlier.

I was ordered to model both of them for her. The red briefs felt nice, and I hope they looked nice as well, as I presented my ass for her. According to her at least they did, and she told I am to use them in the future when we hang out together.

The black pair fit me quite nicely as well. My Queen seemed a bit astonished, and said they look completely natural, almost as if they were made for me. Aside for my testicle peeking a bit, my package fit quite nicely in them. Sometimes it pays off to have such a small penis, I suppose?

On Sunday we both attended the Independence Day party. The celebration over here differs quite a lot from the way they do it in USA for example, but I doubt anyone is interested hearing about it. In any case, nothing sexy took place on Sunday. Well, aside from me going totally nuts after seeing her in a very, very flattering dress, that is.     

On Monday we slept late, and cuddled in the bed for ages. At that point my Queen hinted she could be persuaded into fooling around, if only I took the initiative, and "did things to her". 

Like you all know by now, we're both switches, me and her. We have both our kinks, and since we love each other very much we try our very best to keep each other happy. My Queen gets off on being restrained, and lately she has hinted she would like to experience being hogtied sometimes. Since I want nothing else than her to be happy, I decided to give her what she wanted.

Considering all the things that could have gone wrong our first attempt in me putting her into a hogtie was quite a success. First I disrobed her, which seems to turn her on quite a lot, and then I put cuffs on her hands and a blindfold on her eyes as well. 

The last one was in fact an idea I had in a spur of a moment, but it turned out to be a very good one. Originally I only wanted to postpone her figuring out what I was about to do as long as possible, but it also made the whole experience more scary for her. Scary in a good way that is.

After I had gotten out another pair of cuffs I ordered her on her tummy and put them on her ankles, and then attached the two pairs of cuffs together with a silk ribbon my Queen has for bondage purposes.

Afterwards my Queen said she had had to fight off a small scale panic. Realizing something you have fantasized for a long time is actually taking place can be a scary thought, after all. It was quite an experience for me as well, since it was the first time I had done it to another person.

Considering all that I was actually rather proud of my handiwork. My Queen was a night tight package who had no chance whatsoever to get away, completely at my mercy, ready to be used. All things I know make her incredibly wet. 

An hour later we both lay exhausted on the bed. My Queen had just an orgasm I hope was something she had hoped it to be. As she lay on my arms she seemed very content, at least.

One piece of criticism she gave me afterwards was that I could have talked more. Like all of you know, the weekend before had been so steamy partly because I had found the right things to say to her as I masturbated her. This time there was so much new elements involved my attention was elsewhere and there was much less talking. 

There's always room for improvement, however, and I must remember to pay attention to verbal stimulation in the future as well. Or, as my Queen put it, what was already amazing, could have been even more amazing that way.

Originally the plan was me to be off after we had our breakfast, since we both had a lot to do that day. I had even dressed up and was ready to leave, and merely sat on the bed with my Queen to have a quick goodbye. Well, things let to another and before long we knew it, we all over each other again. 

I believe that in some weird way the thing that turned us both on was knowing we really wouldn't have time for it. What's also interesting that most of the time was spent now in foreplay, a very spontaneous foreplay at that. There was no plan, no direct goal we both aimed at. It was merely playful fooling around.

One proof of that is the way we ended up playing with medical tape. Like you all know, I have lately ended up having fun with it, by putting it around my limp penis before I go to sleep and hoping to have a painful wake-up call as my penis tries to get hard while tape wrapped around it. 

At my request my Queen agreed witnessing how the taping is done, so that she would know how to do it in herself some day. After I had taped my limp penis into a tight little package I suggested, completely in the spur of the moment, what if we tried it on her nipples as well?

I expected her to decline, like any normal, sane woman would do. Her reaction, however, wasn't anything like it. She merely smiled, looked at me and said: "Well, let's try it." At that moment I remembered once again why I love her so much.

First I had to make her nipples erect, and I then taped them up, forcing the nipples to stay that way. As the end result they looked like buttonson a chest of a female robot in a very low-budget sci-fi film.

The whole procedure resembled putting clothespins on one's body, or taping one's penis. It's exciting to put it on but having it on doesn't feel at all. And just like with clothespins, the most fun part was taking the tape off, after I had fun with her nipples sufficiently. 

After having the tape around my own penis several times I knee the effect it has. The tape sensitizes skin and I could only imagine what it must have felt as I started licking them lovingly after I had it off. The experience must have been quite sensual for her, at least according her moaning.

The climax of our little session was also very unplanned, but a lot of fun. At some point I had somehow ended up lying on top of her, a sensation she also likes very much. As I was lying there, knowing she was turned on and wet, I suggested her something I had fantasized for years. 

My fantasy? Woman using my limp penis to masturbate herself to a climax, but leaving me without an orgasm.

At that point my Queen was already quite turned on, and it took very little persuasion for her to grant my wish. Seeing her masturbate herself was also one of the things I had wanted to see for a long time, but she had been reluctant to give me a show.

What followed must have been one of the most intense sexual experiences of our entire relationship. Seeing her under me, using the head of my soft penis to stimulate her clitoris, getting nearer and nearer to orgasm was simply divine. She looked so beautiful, and I kept saying her so, over and over. The feeling was mutual, it seems, since she kept saying the same.

As she approached the orgasm she started moving the head of my penis faster and fasted on her slick pussy lips. It felt great and I became very aroused, but this was all about her orgasm, not mine.

Somewhere near the end she even took my penis in such a hold I could actually "fuck" her hands and the outer parts of her pussy with my taped up, limp penis. Afterwards I told her if she had lubrication on her hands I could have easily ejaculated on her. It was, my Queen said, "Almost like fucking" and I quite agree. 

Afterwards, as we lay next to each other once again, I realized my testicles hadn't been so alive in ages, so full of juices that flowed and swirled freely, and wanted so desperately to get out. I described these sensations to my Queen, which made her chuckle.

It also amused her somewhat, when I told her that when I was on top on her, and considered begging a permission to cum while making love to her hands, the one thing that kept me from doing it, was the question how it would look on my blog. 

After all, I explained her, it would be much more dramatic and would make much more sense in terms of narrative, if I didn't cum, even though my Queen had, masturbating herself with my limp dick. That I had responsibilities to my readers. 

I explained her my body wanted to orgasm, but my mind wanted me to stay chaste. It good thing then, she said, that my mind is in control, not my body, and that I have the will-power to stay chaste.

As we lay there, however, I couldn't help but humping her side a bit. I got nice and horny, and very close to the edge, in fact. When this took place I was actually half asleep. It had been a long and strenuous day, after all. Fortunately I managed to drag myself out of it just in time.

As I told my Queen what had just happened, she complemented me and said it was a good thing I was so obedient. After all, it had only been pathetic two weeks since my last ejaculation, and she had no intention of granting me an orgasm this soon, even a ruined one. 

I quite agreed it was for the best. Thinking about how my Queen wouldn't have given me a permission to ejaculate, even if I had begged, turned me on at that moment so much more than the idea of being allowed to do it. It still does, as I write this and feel my testicles so alive in my pants. 

All in all, the weekend or the Monday in question wasn't exactly the most sane example of spending one's time when there would have more pressing errands to do. But quite frankly, I don't feel one bit of remorse.

I also may have think of a new and exciting way to combine my desire to ejaculate, teasing and sexual frustration during the weekend. I won't go into detail yet, but rest assured, I will tell you all about it when and if my little idea comes into fruition.

PS. Speaking of testicles being alive, there doesn't seem to be much change in that respect. At lest considering that writing and posting this blog post has made me so horny I almost ended up ejaculating in my pants just a few minutes ago, simply by rocking my legs rhythmically in my office chair. Oh dear me.  

3.12.2015

This is the latter part of the update that covers what has happened during the last week or so. Like I hinted in the previous post, I got to spend another weekend with my Queen. What resulted was perhaps one of the steamiest weekends we've had so far. At least when in comes to pleasuring her.

Even before my Queen arrived to my place, I had decided that because she gave such a wild ride to me and to my penis the weekend before, this visit would have to be about her. Serving her, pleasuring her and being extra nice to her. Especially since pleasuring her sexually had been impossible due to Mother Nature a week before.

We woke up Saturday morning rather late. The lazy cuddling we both love led to more intense foreplay and soon I realized it was time to get into business. Namely, putting my tongue to work. We have practiced cunnilingus several times now, but we're still searching for the best position for it, ergonomically speaking. 

Sometimes my Queen has even said that me giving her cunnilingus has felt like she had been left all alone, while I was doing work on her nether regions. This time, instead of approaching her below, I started licking her sideways, still hugging her hips. This gave us chance to hold hands, even though I was going down on her. 

A bit by bit I moved into better position and finally I ended up into something that was more or less sixty-nine. My Queen commented that it had been "quite pornographic". What can I say? It seems there's reason some positions are classics? Among other things the position gave me an opportunity to give her long strokes with my tongue, and to better focus on her pussy in general.  

The sixty-nine also made me realize I could pin her hands between my knees and her own body while I was licking her pussy. The whole thing was accidental, but it turned out she liked it a lot, since being restrained is a huge turn-on for her.   

She ended up having something that looked like a good orgasm and I ended up having an incredibly sore tongue, as well as serious pain on the chest muscles I felt even the following day. Still, I'm not complaining. Her pleasure is so much more important than my discomfort. 

Afterwards she told me that even though she masturbates regularly when she's on her own, she's lazy in a way that she usually stops after the first small orgasm. With me, she says, it's much more than that, because I just keep going and help her to achieve the big one. Naturally I was very pleased to hear that.  

But the best was yet to come. On Sunday there was a thing we both had to attend, so we knew if we wanted to fool around on Sunday we'd have to be quick about it. I know this doesn't sound very romantic, but considering the circumstances, it was a morning well spent. 

My Queen had hinted the previous day she would like for me sometimes to use handcuffs on her while I masturbated her. As I've mentioned, we're both switches, and she has her submissive side as well. And, like I said previously, she especially likes being restrained.

Therefore, after some foreplay and me disrobing her, which I also know she likes, I got up without saying anything, took out my girly pink and shiny handcuffs, put them on her and then attached her hands to the end of the bed. She looked at me, smiling and looking very happy, as I continued caressing, kissing and teasing her.

I know she had said being handcuffed turns her on, but it seems I hadn't understand in what degree. The thing is, when I finally slid my hand on her pussy I couldn't believe how incredibly wet she was! I commented this on her, and she didn't seem to know whether she should be ashamed or proud of herself.

Trying to learn from yesterday's experience, I took a position next to her that was as functional as possible, and started masturbating her. This time I focused only on the things I know she likes. I rolled my fingers gently around her incredibly wet and slick clitoris while at the same time looking her in the eyes, kissing her occasionally, or licking her breast. She seemed to enjoy what I did. A lot.

Talking dirty in the bed, as they say, has never been easy with us. I'm unsure what to say to get her in the right mood, or rather I'm afraid I go too far and end up hurting her feelings, and she sometimes seems to be equally at lost what to say or to do. We both try our very best to fake it, nonetheless.

At that morning, however, everything seemed to fall in the right place somehow. I found exactly the right words, or rather the right angle, based on the things I know she likes or fantasizes about, and allowed myself to thrust into the situation. Very clearly My Queen enjoyed it immensely, and the more she did, the more courageous I got, turning her on even more. 

Soon I was rewarded with yet another glorious orgasm of hers. As she was catching her breath, I leaned over, caressed her forehead, kissed her parched, cold lips and thanked her, which always brings a smile on her face.  

Originally our plan was not to spend the rest of the Sunday together, but things led to another once again, and we found ourselves in the same bed on Sunday as well, this time at her place. After talking for hours and me giving her the back rub she very clearly wanted, we went to bed, even though we weren't that sleepy.

I placed myself behind her and cupped her breast in my hand like I often do, and started playing with her nipples gently. I heard her stating to moan, and as I continued, I was genuinely surprised, since her twitching and whimpering resembled so much my own behavior, when she teases me.   

"Hey, what's happening here?" I asked her.

"It seems you managed to wake up something", she said, curled up in my arms.

I continued teasing her nipples for a while, which seemed to be driving her crazy. However, understanding she was most likely dripping wet in her pajama pants, horny as hell, I decided not to linger, and proceeded.

The procedure went more or less the same way it had went the morning, the only exception being that this time I didn't stop to get handcuffs she owns as well, and merely ordered her to keep her hands above her head.  

This time my dirty talk seemed to work, if possible, even better than in the morning. One reason may be that encouraged by the previous instance, I allowed myself to get even deeper into her fantasies. Afterwards my Queen said she doesn't even remember what I said, only that at the moment she thought it was incredibly hot. 

All in all I made her orgasm twice during that session. As she reached the climax the second time she was howling out loud, and let out something that sounded almost like a growl of a wild animal. I mentioned this to her afterwards, and she looked embarrassed, and said she had no recollection of it whatsoever. 

This is understandable, since she described afterwards the orgasm, believe it or not, as the biggest sexual experience of her life. According to her time had lost meaning and it had felt the orgasm had lasted an half an hour, even though it hadn't take more than thirty seconds.

We discussed it afterwards, and it's somewhat interesting that even though the first orgasm I licked her on Saturday was a good and big one, it got dwarfed by the rest. At least according to my Queen it was in fact smallest of them all. The last, she said, was the kind she has always imagined them to be, according to internet. 

It is difficult to write this all down and not sound as if I'm bragging. I assure you this is not my intention. This is what took place and I merely want to write it all down. I'm not sure even myself what made the past weekend so successful, in terms of being able to please my Queen sexually. 

Three fingers and a little imagination  can do wonders sometimes, it seems.

2.12.2015

What a week it has been. What a week and what a weekend. Originally this post was twice as long, and I intended to cover in it all that had happened to me during the last week or so. Ultimately however I decided to cut in half. If that doesn't create Freudian images in you, nothing won't.

This post will focus what's the most important to any male, that is his penis and its well-being. When we last saw our hero a week ago it was in pretty bad shape. It had spent quite a weekend, but sustained damage in the process. In fact the damage was so severe the skin was torn from several places just under the head of the penis.

I spent good part of the last week recuperating, as far as my penis is concerned, at least. As the first shock of seeing it in such a state wore off I started to think of ways to making it to heal. Like I said last time, I have type one diabetes, and sores and other injuries heal much slower on me, and I didn't want to end up to a doctor with an inflamed penis.

My first plan was to put a band-aid just under the head of the penis, with the idea of keeping the part of skin straight and to give it a chance to heal. 

The problem in this case is that the injuries are just below the head of the circumsized penis. When there's no erection, there's a lot of flabby loose skin, including the injured part, making it very hard to keep the damaged area dry. In other words it would be an ideal place for infection.  

Very quickly I made an interesting discovery. I realized that wearing the band-aid was bit like having a sort of chastity device on. As long as it was on I was unable to fondle my penis even lightly. I was constantly reminded it's there, and I had a strange desire to check it's still on. Same kind of reactions one would have immediately after getting a chastity device, I suppose?

I had discussed the subject with my Queen a bit during the weekend, purely as fantasy material, but afterwards she said that actually getting one for me would still be a bit too much for her. I also made some checking out and was reminded again how expensive the toys in question are. Heaven forbid!

That led me to conclusion that at the moment I'm content having a band aid around my limp member as a sort of light version of a chastity device. That's much more close to my budget, at least.

I made an update about the project on a fetish social media site I'm on, and got replies to it, some of them referring to non-painful and painful treatments to sores caused by chastity devices, as well as comments about what it feels to take the band aids off.  

I use the good old Neo Amisept to disinfect wounds. I've heard from the pharmacy that it's not recommended to treat wounds with it anymore. It's pretty strong stuff, and nowadays they use products that don't sting. However, I've insisted buying it. After all, how do you know it's doing anything, or even reaching the wound, if it doesn't sting like hell? 

However, treating wounds that are on your penis with that stuff is rather... interesting, to say the least. To prevent bacteria getting to the wounds I disinfected it several times, and when I put it on I swear my neighbors must have heard me. 

As for taking the band aids away, I've noticed the same thing, as well. I use a cheap brand of band aid that usually comes off before it's supposed to, but when it comes the soft and loose skin of my penis, it seems to be sticking to it like crazy.

I also discovered another interesting thing. One night, before I went to bed, I decided to "reinforce" the band aid I have on my soft penis, with a couple or rounds of thin medical tape. The result was a nice tight package, even if I say so myself.

Sometime during the morning hours of the night, however, my penis had decided to have an nightly erection. As a result the "rings" two rounds of tape formed bit nicely to the flesh of my penis, as it tried to get stiff. What a way to wake up from erotic dream!

After the redness had went away I started making different kinds of setups from band-aid as well as and the medical tape, not only to keep the limp penis standing up straight, and to give the wound some air as well. After that I started using a medicine called Bepanthen on it, that's supposed to help open wounds to heal.

All this turned out so effective that by Thursday evening the would had started to close up quote nicely, and by Friday, when I saw my Queen again, it was so well healed up one could hardly notice it.  

All the business with the medical tape, the feel it creates on my limp penis, the feel of putting it on as well as taking it off, however, have given me new ideas and for a few days now I've found myself searching for new ways to use it in self-torture. 

Not only does it make nightly erections rather interesting experiences, it makes the taped up limp penis a nice and tight package that sticks out a more than it usually does. This has resulted into some rather nice sensations as the head of my limp penis brushes to the fabric of my silky boxers I use indoor.   

In fact I have even have to go to the pharmacy and get some more, since the roll I had used for years and years, finally ran out because of me using it so much. I must say it felt strange, comparing the brands on the grounds of how they would feel on my penis.

One interesting effect I found is also worth a mention. Few days ago I had once again rolled a couple of rounds of tape around my limp member. After that watched some rather arousing porn, ruined orgasm video, to be exact. The video was in fact so arousing I had to stop, because it had made me way, way too horny.

So, I crashed on my bed, thinking I could doze off and well as cool off for a while. Being as horny as I was, I humped the bed cover a bit in frustration. The head of my taped up limp penis slid so nicely on the silky fabric of my shorts I continued doing it. 

This wasn't the first time I grind my groin this way, but usually there's no chance, or "danger" for me to cum, because I don't get hard. This time around however, I had a band of medical tape around my limp penis, which kept it nicely in position. Before long I realized I would ejaculate in my shorts if I kept it up.

I let myself quite close to the edge, and then stopped. I think it wouldn't have taken me many more thrusts to ejaculate. I lay there motionless, listened the racing of my heart and tried to cool off. I felt my testicles being so alive, so desperately wanting to release their load.

It took almost five minutes for me to cool off enough to continue. This time it took a little longer while to reach the state I wanted to feel. As I got closer to the edge I stopped again to cool off. 

As I waited my heart to slow down I decided it would actually be quite fun to ejaculate in one's pants. After all, my Queen had said I had a permission to cum, as long as it wasn't by masturbation, or otherwise by my own hand.

So, on the third time when I started humping the bed cover I had made a decision to cum. After all, I hadn't done anything like that ever, and it would be very pathetic thing to do. Let alone describing it to my Queen the next time I would meet her.

Some of you may find amusing, that this time, when I would have let myself cum, my body refused to co-operate. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach the same feel and the same rhythm. Finally I had to stop, frustrated as hell. Well, serves me right, doesn't it?

26.11.2015

This will be a long update. A very long update I should say. There's simply so much to tell, and I hope you find at least some of it entertaining. In fact, I had to cut the story short this time, and I think you understand why by the time you get to the end. Hopefully I will be able continue the story at a later time.

I got to spend a weekend  with my Queen again. In a way one could say the weekend was sort of reward for both of us. We had both been very busy the last week and felt we had "earned" some time together. The weekend wasn't all fun and rolling in the sack, since life seldom is, but I'm concentrating on the good parts in this post.

We're not your regular kinky couple, me and Queen. For various reasons we don't do much of the stuff many "regular" kinky people seem to do. You now, with whips and high heels and stuff. I've also noticed things don't usually go as planned with us, but we end up having fun nevertheless. This applies to last weekend, as well.

The reason for us spending the weekend together was, as usual, two events that both demanded us to be present. This was all very handy, but because of it we were both rather tired by the time we got to her place at Saturday night.

We had planned having an actual candle-lit romantic dinner that night, something we haven't had time to do properly yet. We had the dinner all right, after which my Queen showed me an episode of her favourite series she had wanted me to see for some time now.

The episode, in case some you wonder, was "The Power of Madonna" from Glee, and the reason my Queen wanted to show it to me is the fact she knows I'm a long-time Madonna fan. I enjoyed the episode, even though I have to admit the Glee's Rocky Horror Picture Show special my Queen showed me some time ago worked better.

After the episode, both of us being nice and tipsy, we realized we were both way too tired to be able to do anything but to go to bed. There would always be tomorrow, we thought. We hit the sack and were asleep in a matter of minutes.

On Sunday morning almost the first thing my Queen did after she came out of the bathroom was to inform me that Mother Nature had once again arrived to her monthly visit. She had previously mentioned that "red alert" was on again, so it wasn't actually a surprise, but it was very unfortunate news anyway.   

This meant there wouldn't be a chance for me to pleasure her, and that we'd have to concentrate on me instead. However, I had no idea where it would actually lead to.

For some time we had discussed it would be interesting to try Viagra. I had tried it a decade back, with no avail. We conducted the experiment on Sunday, which proved something I had suspected all along, namely that Viagra still isn't enough to cure my impotence.

There was some swelling, but nothing I could use for fucking. I don't feel bad about it, however. Also, since my penis was now at least half mast it gave my Queen something to play with, and try out new things. 

One of the things was actually masturbating me, in the old-fashioned back-and-forth way. On many occasions when she had played with me, my penis had remained completely limp, which had led her to think of different techniques to edge me.   

Another thing she did was blindfolding. I have never been blindfolded, and I was surprised how erotic it was. I was forced to just lie there, and feel my Queen masturbating me, and not be able to see it. According to her my penis kept becoming more erect, and I would have liked to see it, but was forbidden to.

Eventually my Queen got bored me being blindfolded, and removed it. The edging session culminated into something I could describe as some sort of mental, but completely dry orgasm. Nothing came out, and my Queen said I had looked as if I had experienced "a girls's orgasm".  

So, after we had rested for a while it was time for round two. And even though saying this makes me look lik a sex maniac, it was me who suggest we would continue. The round one had been fun, but had left me needing more. However, it turned out the round two was, if possible, even more steamy then the first one.

Later on my Queen said that she had decided to give me an actual ruined orgasm this weekend, since I seemed so desperately to need one. Even though it had been, after all, only three weeks since my last ruined orgasm. I had no idea about her plans, of course.

Among other things my Queen ordered me to hump her hand with my partly soft penis, which was very humiliating thing to do. I also got very aroused hearing my Queen give direct commands, for example actually saying: "Come on, hump my hand".

Another interesting technique she came up with was using her foot in teasing me. This was most likely a complete accident, but soon we both realized she had hit the jackpot. The reason she hadn't tried the technique sooner was that a completely shrunken nub of a penis like mine is very difficult to torment that way.

Using the sole of her feet as well as the calf of her feet she sort of rolled it between her leg and mine. It was a rather rough treatment, but incredibly pleasurable as well. I squirmed, unable to form coherent sentences, part of the time in agony, part of the in ecstasy. My Queen just giggled, since she seemed to find my reactions rather amusing.

Finally, it seemed, my Queen had come to the conclusion it was time to get to business and started to masturbate my semi-hard penis with skilful determination. She even pressed her hand to my chest, to feel the racing of my heart, that became faster and faster the closer she got.

Following my suggestion she kept little pauses and then slowed the masturbating almost to a halt. I wanted her to do so to prevent myself from ejaculating too quickly. However, no matter how slow she did it, I kept coming closer and closer, which I told her, as well.

As I came closer to the edge I was given a command to inform when I was there, so she could let go. Finally I knew it wouldn't take much longer and looking deep into her eyes I let her take me there. Then, just as my body was about to go over, told her to take her hand away.

It was glorious, and so frustrating at the same time. I felt the orgasm that was somehow cut short, and felt few drops of cum ooze out. I curled into a little ball into the arms of my Queen and told her over and over how much I loved her.

The rest of the day we lay down in bed and talked. And talked and talked. For hours, it seemed. All the time I had to fight the urge to tell her again and again how much I love her. How much I love our discussions, how I love everything in her.

After we had dinner I even got to show her an episode of Star Trek, which we haven't had opportunity in ages, it seemed. The episode in question was "Hollow Pursuits", where we are introduced with lt. Barclay. She seemed to find the episode rather amusing, I'm glad to say.

Originally my intention was to leave on Sunday, since I had previous arrangements on Monday. However, things let to another and ended up spending one night more at her place.

On Monday morning I woke up before my Queen did and realized I had a nice erection. I coaxed my Queen awake and she seemed willing to play with it a bit. At that point I noticed the usual rough treatment my Queen usually gives to my penis, made it hurt even more than usual.

After a while I felt myself losing the erection, and started to beg for her a permission to masturbate myself a bit, something that is normally forbidden for me. After some begging my Queen gave in. I took hold of my penis that was rapidly losing it's erection and started pulling it up and down.

It felt incredible. It felt so good. To be able to pull it up and down, and to look at my Queen's beautiful eyes at the same time.

"God this feels good", I said, and saw my Queen nod.

"You do know I'm a good wanker", I said, continuing what I did. "I've done it so much during my life I've become very good at it."

"I'm sure you have", my Queen answered.

"This hurts, from yesterday", I said, but didn't slow down.

"Good", my Queen said. "I'm glad it hurts."

"You want me to suffer? To punish me for waking you up?"

"Yes I do", she said, and then, and continued after a while. "It's your job to keep me happy. The only thing you're supposed to be interested is my pleasure, me having fun."

"Yes", I said, but didn't continue, enjoying what she was saying.

"You're not supposed to think of your own needs at all. Or to wake me up, when I still had wanted to sleep."

"Hmm-mm...", I said incoherently.

"So, aren't you ashamed?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"You're not?" she asked, surprised.

"No. At the m-moment I don't care anything else that the fact how f-fucking horny I am."

I heard my Queen sigh.

"At this rate we will have to put you into a chastity belt, to keep you under control", she said.

"I-ve been thinking about it", I said, with my voice shaking a bit. This was the first time either had actually spoke of the subject.

"You have?"

I nodded.

"It would have to be extra, extra small", she said.

"Yes, extra small" I said, masturbating furiously. "To make my penis even more small."

"So that you'd be in real agony when your penis tries to get hard in the mornings."

"Y-yes, it would be simply awful."

"Oh, it would", she said.

"I would have to keep it all the time", I said. "And you'd take it off only when we're together, like now. And you'd put it on when the weekend is over."

"But I would take it off only if you're extra good and nice to me. Like for example by massaging my back."

I nodded again.

"And you'd keep the only keys."

"Of course", she said. "Most likely in a chain around my neck."

"You would?"

"Maybe I'd even start wearing low cut shirts, so you could watch the key dangling between my breasts."

I opened my eyes and looked deeply in her eyes.

"I love you so", I said, almost out of breath, and saw her smile.

She started to caress my chest and then squeezed my both nipples. They were still sensitive, since they too had received rather rough treatment the previous day. It felt very good, her doing it, and her being there.

"Y-you know", I said finally. "I'm getting close."

"You are?"

I told her I was, which was the truth, and that I had slowed down the pace, couple of times, since I didn't want to cum at least not without her permission."

"Well, of course you don't."

"But I could", I said, hesitating a bit. "Make myself a ruined orgasm."

"You already had one yesterday. You're getting greedy."

I nodded, and looked at her pleadingly, unable to think straight.

"You could take your hand away in time?" she said.

"I did it once before, remember", I said, pulling my now almost completely limp penis up and down very slowly. "It's unconceivable thing to do on one's own, but not that hard, with you."

"Would you like to?"

"Honey", I said smiling. "It's what you like that matters."

She was silent for a moment, and looked at me, with contemplating look on her face.

"Okay then, do it."

I started masturbating faster, and taking a hold of her hand, closed my eyes. I took myself beyond the point of no return and then, let go. After a few seconds I felt sperm starting spurt out of my limp penis, as waves of a glorious orgasm wash over me.

I'm not making excuses. I was greedy and I wanted to cum. And quite frankly, it felt almost like a real orgasm. It had looked one, as well, my Queen commented afterwards. Therefore I have put it down as "orgasm allowed and supervised by my Queen" on my book-keeping. 

However, I did it with permission of my Queen, and I would have stopped if she had said no. And I would have thanked and loved her for it.

As for the book-keeping, as soon as I got around to do it, I realized two things. First was the fact that first time ever there was a situation when the number of orgasms exceeded my Queen's, in a given period of time. After all, this was the first time I had orgasmed on two days in a row since November 2013. 

The other one was an observation I made the following day, when my Queen informed me she had had a nice orgasm that day. The observation was that since April I have had eight orgasms now, whereas my Queen has had 108. Exactly one hundred orgasms difference. One hundred orgasms. It makes my head spin.

In other words, even though I felt somewhat ashamed of being so greedy, it didn't feel as bad when I considered the difference in numbers. One hundred orgasms, the number is simply staggering. There's also another lesson to be learned from this all, a one about price of the pleasure. The thing is, this time, the story doesn't end here.

Immediately after I had orgasmed on Monday I felt considerable stinging on my penis. However, it wasn't until I got home I realized why. My poor penis had indeed sustained quite a damage both in the hands of my cruel Queen, as well as my horny hands.

In fact the damage was so severe the skin was torn from several places just under the head of the penis. I'm not blaming my Queen of course, since I was involved, as well. However, I admit I got a bit alarmed, since I'm diabetic (type one) and wounds heal much slower on me. I have no desire to go to doctor with inflamed penis, either.

In other words, the good part of last few days I have spent recuperating, and trying to get my poor little penis to start healing. However, I think at this point I will show mercy to my readers. In other words, there's more to the story, but time for it isn't now.

There would be things to tell how the draining of my balls has affected my libido, but that will have to wait, as well.

In conclusion, what can I say? It seems it's true what they say. Every bit of pleasure in this life has to be purchased with equal amount of suffering. 

5.11.2015

In my most recent post I hinted at a upcoming anniversary. Two full years has passed since I last orgasmed by my own free will. When one year was up I didn't celebrate it in any way, mostly because I had no one to celebrate it with. For the most part my chaste life has been a very lonely one. 

Like I've told you, my Queen has hinted she would like us to try intercourse before the year ends. There has been numerous reasons we haven't done so, even though we have dated for almost a year now. I won't go into too much detail here.

What I can say is that one of the reasons is my impotence. Some time ago I got a prescription for a drug called Caverject, which you inject into your penis. It gives you a rock hard erection lasting up to several hours if needed, making it possible even for impotent men to have intercourse. 

I used the drug with my first girlfriend, because I was impotent even back then, but I have had my reasons to postpone using it again. The thing is, for a male using it is really uncomfortable, even painful. 

One influencing factor for me wanting to make it happen now was also the fact that this would also be the 100th orgasm my Queen has had since we started counting them earlier this year. In the same time I have had five orgasms, almost all of which have been "ruined" in some way or another.

In other words, I had came to the conclusion that if my Queen wanted to feel my hard penis inside her, this was the perfect opportunity for it. So, I went to the pharmacy and got the medicine, but didn't tell about it to my Queen beforehand, since I wanted it to be a surprise to her.

On Saturday there was a Halloween party we both had to attend, and the plan was I was to stay the night and the following Sunday at her place, like we often do. By the time we arrived at her place it was already way over 4 AM. This was handy, since the exact time the clock turned two full years was that Sunday morning, first of November, 06:31. 

This gave me a good oportunity to tell her the time was at hand, and also about my purchase. She was surprised, to say the least. 

I also got to explain to her that knowing what I did had been the reason I had been somewhat nervous the whole night. Also the fact she had looked sexy as hell in the party hadn't helped. So sexy in fact, I was a bit intimidated by her all through the night. 

Doing the deed, so to speak, had to wait till we had slept, however, and it was a Sunday afternoon before we finally begun. It was clear we were both very nervous. We both also agreed it was very weird to realize how "goal-oriented" the whole situation was.

How did it go, then? Again, I do not want to go into too much detail, but let's just say the first trial run wasn't a complete success. It could have gone better, and we could have handle it all better. Me included. 

I've had very little experience in my life when it comes to old-fashioned fucking, and the last time I had done it must have been more or less a decade ago. My Queen has had even less experience than I have. In a way it felt we were two 16-year-olds trying to figure how everything works. They make it look so easy in porn. 

They say "the first time" is always very awkward and weird. This seems to apply even though you had had sex before, just not with the person in question. Also, it occurred to me they say doing it is like riding a bicycle. But I suppose before you learn how to ride one, it can be awkward, painful and full of failures, as well.

I also found out the Caverject is as nasty stuff for me to use now as it was a decade ago. It gives you an incredible hard on all right, but it also takes away the sensitivity. To put it bluntly, at times it felt almost as if I were pushing an iron rod attached to my groin into my Queen's vagina.

One could say that the moment we're both better at pleasuring the other person with other means than by actual fucking. Then again, we've both had more experience in it, during the past year.

One proof of that is the fact that the whole thing became way more erotic, arousing and hot only after we had stopped actual fucking. First I made her orgasm by hand, which she seemed to enjoy very much, after which she gave me a wonderful hand-job.

Earlier on we had tried to turn each other on by talking naughty during the intercourse, and realized we need a lot more practice to be able to do both talking and fucking at the same time.

"Who knows, this may be your only chance to cum", she said as I was fucking her. "I may not let you have a real orgasm the rest of the year, if you don't cum now."

Well, as it turned out, I was nowhere near to cumming during the whole time. Not only was the whole thing a mess, technically speaking, the drug also made my cock so hard and insensitive I could have fuck her for eternity and not to cum myself.

When she was masturbating my still semi-hard penis, which now had regained some of its sensitivity, she started cooing:

"Wouldn't it be simply awful if I ruined this one for you as well?" she asked me. "You had your chance earlier, so now all you get would be only a ruined orgasm?"

"Mmmm-hmmm", I said, because speaking was difficult for me at that point. "It w-would."

"Oh yeah?" she said, milking me faster. "What if I tell you you'll have to inform me if you're about to cum?"

"I will say, of course."

"Okay then, say it when you're getting close."

"I will" I said, eyes closed.

It took us two attempts to get me over the edge. First time I told my Queen to let go a bit too soon, and I didn't ejaculate after all. Afterwards I realized it would have been a good idea for her to have a pause and let me cool down a bit, before continuing.

However, without a pause she took hold of my semi-hard penis and started milking me again. After a few strokes I had to tell her to let go of it, which she did. There was a few seconds pause, and then I felt a nice big load of sperm shooting out of my penis.

It felt glorious. It was so... energetic, vigorous and divine. I felt sperm coming out of my penis, a spurt after spurt, and heard my Queen complementing me. 

Even though the little milking session has grown into immense proportions in my head, it didn't last that long. According to her, from the moment she poured lube into her hands, to the moment I spurted, it hadn't been much more than a minute. What can I say, my Queen is great in giving handjobs.   

It felt so good, in fact, that it was a bit hard for me to think of it as "a ruined" orgasm. However, according to all the porn videos I've seen, that's exactly what it was. It seems that being completely denied for two full years have taught me to appreciate even ruined orgasms.

I have observed myself the past few days, and so far it would seem my most recent, rather abundant ejaculation didn't have have negative effects in my libido. Like I told you earlier, I have been rather horny lately. During the last few days I've noticed the cumming didn't take that away. If possible, I have felt even more horny.

All in all, as far as the fucking goes, I would say the first trial run could have been better, but it could have been worse, as well. Practice makes perfect, they say, but according My Queen she has no definite plans now, since she's very busy with her studies at the moment. 

In other words, when will be our next trial run be, or when I will be allowed ejaculate next time, is so far a complete mystery. Only time will tell.