Monday, August 3, 2015


There is something I have to tell you all. Something pretty big. This all took place yesterday, but quite frankly I was so overwhelmed I wanted to wait a day to write down my thoughts.

I spent the last weekend with my Queen, because she had expressed her desire to spend time with me. She has been very busy, but this weekend she had no other plans. I decided it would be nice to comply with her wishes, even though I would have had other matters to attend to as well.

My intention was from the very beginning to make the weekend as pleasurable as possible for her, and I think I succeeded in it. Among other things I masturbated her to orgasm three times during the first night and performed her cunnilingus during the second, for the second time during our relationship in fact. Yes, I know, we have taken things slowly.

She also expressed she has been very horny lately, a thing I find extremely arousing, and apparently wanted me to do something about it. Lately there has been some issues in our relationship we have tried to work out, that must have affected to her horniness as well. During the last week or so she has started to masturbate more actively again, which always is very heart-warming to hear.

I originally planned leaving on Saturday, but finally ended up staying at her place one day more. At Sunday morning we were cuddling in the bed and she started playing with my penis. Like I've told you, I haven't had permission to touch it for over a week now, but that doesn't apply to her of course.

This was no small matter in other respects either, since she has had some reservations when it comes to touching or playing with it. One thing led to another and very soon I said the thing she was doing would make me cum very soon.

"Really?" she asked, in all seriousness, and I answered yes, keeping my eyes closed. She continued, using the same technique, and I realized I could do it, I actually could. The thing is I'm not good at orgasming while being played with, but what she did felt very good, not only physically but also when it comes to being relaxed with someone.

Also, I realized I somehow "owed" it to her, all things considering. She had known about my "project" for months, but had been very understanding. And considering her hesitancy, in a situation when she was actually playing with me for real, it would have felt very "wrong" to deny her my orgasm.

"Do you want to see me cum?", I asked, keeping my eyes shut, and panting a little, listening my own heart starting to race faster and faster. "Well, it would be interesting to see, I suppose", I heard her say, not stopping what she was doing. After that we said nothing.

I took some doing from my part, conscious "pushing" myself over the edge. But it wasn't nearly as hard as it had been on previous occasions. In fact it felt glorious, and I was filled with love towards my Queen.

That was the first time in over twenty-one months I orgasmed willingly, actually wanting to shoot my load. First time in almost two years.

Afterwards my Queen my said that I had looked quite "girly" when I approached orgasm, which in my book is always a good thing. I admit I didn't want to hold back, and tried to make it look as nice for her as possible. I do know she likes to see the reactions on my face, whether they come from pleasure or pain.

Also the fact I had very strong urge to just hold her afterwards reinforced the idea. Maybe I would have made a better woman than I make a man.

My Queen commented afterwards that she was surprised how "easy" it had been. I told her that this time she had the advantage of time, that is, me being very horny. But also that I've never felt this comfortable with any other woman.

Naturally I was also a bit mixed-up after the incident. For almost two years being in cum ban had been the one constant thing, the faithful companion in my so called sex life, a thing that had defined me. There had been a couple of slip-ups, granted, but no actual orgasms. Was it all over now?

My Queen said, that if I wanted I could keep the counter on, but the count would mark days since I last time had the liberty to cum whenever I like. Days since "the play", as she put it, had started. That's a one day to look at it.

We both also agreed keeping me in total masturbation ban in a future as well would be a very good thing to do. That will keep me focused on her needs, since the only way I can ever hope to have another orgasm is through hands. I know it seems to give her an awful lot of power over me, but at the same time it feels very right.

One must also remember, that even though the cum ban itself is now over in the way I have known it, during the least 21 months I have let sperm spill out of me only four times, and only on of those occasions have given me any pleasure. That's once every five months, or 160 days. Not bad even if I say so myself.

One thing that may interest some of you is how it felt afterwards? After all this time? Well, it felt... strange. I kept telling my Queen, as I hugged her, that I felt so empty down there. The aching I had become so accustomed to was gone. My testicles felt like an empty wine skin.

There was also a strange calmness. Feeling of not wanting to cum, not wanting anything, almost. Like you know, there has been couple of accidents in the course of last few months, but this was the first time the sensations weren't a signs of failure, or of my own weakness, something that made me mad at myself.

However, I admit that when the first signs of starting to get horny emerged mere hour or so later, I was very happy about it. My faithful friend, the aching sensation, the deep, yearning desire in my testicles hadn't left me, after all.

One could say the situation when it comes to my body is now pretty much what it was after the last accident. The batch that was inside my testicles has now been released, and the production has started once again. The testicles churn new stuff and try to make me to get it out as soon as possible.

In other words the next thing to look forwards is, once again, more waiting. Last time it didn't take much longer than a week to make me to go nearly insane with lust. One can only hope that will happen this time as well. At least I plan to torment myself as much as I can during the next week or so at least.

I have no idea when I will get to cum next time, and I'm pretty sure my Queen doesn't know it either. I can only hope it will be a long, long time in the future. Keeping the times I get to cum as far apart as possible seems to be a very working method.

After all I do want to be as horny and desperate as possible when my Queen next time wants to play with me, and if she decides to let me cum, to offer her another entertaining show.

Whenever that happens.

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