10.8.2015

Another weekend with the Queen. These days we are both rather busy and we have to plan long in advance if we want to see each other. This visit had been agreed upon quite a while ago.

However, thanks to mother nature this weekend there was no orgasming involved, a fact my Queen wasn't at all pleased. However, I assured her if that hadn't been the case, I would have spent most of the time with my face or fingers buried in her pussy.

Even though there was not much sex involved we found quite a lot of things to do, so much in fact there wasn't many idle moments. However, I must say it was very relaxing, not to have too much planned activities to fit in the mere couple of days, just time to spend with your loved one.

The visit also had a special significance for me, since My Queen hadn't visited my apartment for several weeks. This was due to an interior design, carpenting and organizing project I ended up starting some time ago. A beautiful woman can have an interesting effect on a male, sometimes.

Her visit also gave us the opportunity to sleep on my balcony. We had talked about it early on in the spring, but considering how cold this summer had been, the chances of doing so hadn't look promising. However, it seems this year the actual summer in Finland will take place in August, and we're currently having a small scale heat wave.

On Saturday we ended up doing an unplanned shopping trip to downtown. Among other places we ended in a clothing store, something that's usually considered a hell to a husband or a boyfriend. I had mentioned my Queen earlier I would be willing to accompany her on a such trip some day, and I must say I rather liked the feeling, almost as if I had been her girlfriend instead of a man.  

It also felt very good  in other respects as well. I have mentioned to my Queen on several occasions how much I enjoy doing shopping or running errands with her. I have been in relationships before, but never before have things like that been this... easy. I feel so comfortable and safe being with her.

My Queen, on the other hand, seemed to appreciate the fact that the people she was with paid attention to her needs or wishes, a thing it seems she's apparently not that accustomed to. Early on during our shopping trip for example she mentioned me she wasn't feeling very well, which made me to cut short the visit to the store we were at the moment, and suggest her we head for somewhere to eat. For me doing a thing like that was only natural.

I may also mention my Queen bought me three pairs of boxer shorts from the store I mentioned. We had discussed it earlier, and she had said she quite likes seeing me in those. However, the pairs she bought turned out to be perhaps... shall we say a bit too fitting on me. Most likely I will wear them only in her presence, when she so wishes, since they do flatter my ass and small package quite nicely.

On a relationship level we made one of two advancements as well. That is, I got to show her a couple more episodes of Star Trek. I got to do it the first time in May, but since then we've both been rather busy.

Even though my Queen is a geek as well, Star Trek is virtually unknown franchise to her. Therefore I have had the chance to slowly familiarize her with it. We begun in May with "Emissary", spotlighting Worf and K'Ehleyr, one of my favorite supporting characters in the series.

This time I showed two episodes to her, "Who Watches The Watchers" and "Up The Long Ladder". Partly since they are both my favorite episodes as well, but also since they both spotlight captain Picard, and some degree also commander Riker, quite nicely and illustrate what Star Trek is all about. My Queen seemed to enjoy them both.

We also watched a couple of episodes of 'Allo 'Allo, a British series I have told her about many times but that's unknown to her. When I got to show it her the first time, she said she found it amusing, so this time we ventured further in the saga of the fallen madonna with the big boobies.

I have gone on and on about boring relationship stuff, but there was some... interesting activity involved as well.

I had mentioned several times to my Queen I would like her to some day apply bladder torture on me. I have done it dozens and dozens of times on myself while I have been masturbating, and like you know, I have done it with her virtually once. But I have never done it with her live, nor with any other person.

Basically the technique includes me drinking a lots and lots of water, which then fills my bladder and many times my abdomen as well. As the discomfort grows, the brain mixes the urge to cum and urge to pee. The feeling of full bladder makes you want to masturbate faster and faster, since the mind somehow thinks cumming would ease the pain in one's bladder.  Finally the pain in your bladder is so intense you think you go insane.

Most amusing and in the same time horrifying part is what happens after ejaculating, taken the session includes one. If you've let yourself really go wild with the water, the most painful part takes place only after the climax. At that point the pain suddenly loses its erotic value, and you just want to pee, but you are unable to do so right away, since the penis is usually a bit swollen after the ejaculation.

I drank during a couple of hours what must have been almost two to three liters of ice cold water. We started off by me drinking a huge jar of water (0,6 liters) at one go, but by the end we did it so that my Queen held my king size mug filled with ice water in her hand and made me to drink from it the through a straw, and keep doing it until she said stop.  

Even though there wasn't cumming involved this time, we did end up doing some very extreme torture session. The thing is, the bladder torture is a very, very effective method of causing extreme pain to a male.

What was most amazing was the fact that my Queen really seemed to get into it as well. As soon as she realized how easy it was to cause pain on me through my bladder she begun experimenting on me, trying out how to hurt me the most, and to make me howl in pain the loudest.

Like I've told you earlier, my Queen isn't a natural sadist, but she has said it's fun "to get a reaction out of me", no matter whether the reaction is caused from pleasure or pain. After our little session she said quite she liked the fact that torturing my bladder caused way better reactions than orgasming or being close to one.

I love her so.

As we waited for the water to take effect I also volunteered to give my Queen a back rub, something she had hinted she would like to receive at some point. It felt to romantic and submissive thing to do, to service her while we waited my bladder to fill up enough for her to start torturing me.

During the weekend there was also mild edging performed on me. As surprising as it was, I enjoyed it even more than the bladder torture. Not so much the feeling, but rather the fact that it was my Queen doing it to me.

It is now a week since I was allowed to have an orgasm by her hands, and since then I haven't had permission to touch myself at all, in a sexual manner that is. Therefore if naturally felt good when my Queen started playing with and examining my limp penis, especially considering her prior hesitancy.

This time she tried out a new technique teasing me and my limp penis, sort of rolling it between her palms. It seemed to be very effective and I think that if she had continued it, she could have made me to cum in under a minute. However, we both agreed that mere seven days would be "pathetically short time" to justify an orgasm.

She even applied something I call "stop and go routine" on me, a technique very familiar to me from porn clips. It basically consists of short amount of time of active teasing, and then "letting go" quite abruptly. The idea naturally being that over time the one doing teasing learns to read the signs and manages to push a male as close as orgasm as possible, without actually letting him reach it.

In this case the whole didn't last long, only a couple of short spurts, and I was nowhere near an orgasm, something I am very glad of course. However, this was the first time that routine was applied on me, making it very a special experience.  

I also mentioned to her afterwards that when and if she some day decides to give me an orgasm, that would be quite a good way to "ruin" it. Considering how horny I am, it is clear she couldn't continue it indefinitely, and most likely at some point my limp penis would just start spurting sperm, as it lay there, soft and without being touched in any way. A perfect ruined orgasm.

I have no desire to make my Queen end the current wank ban, of course. However, I have high hopes my Queen will continue using the technique in the future as well. The arrangement we have at the moment, in which it is forbidden for me to even touch myself and making her the sole source of my pleasure, feels... well, so very right.

I must be the luckiest man in the world.

3.8.2015

There is something I have to tell you all. Something pretty big. This all took place yesterday, but quite frankly I was so overwhelmed I wanted to wait a day to write down my thoughts.

I spent the last weekend with my Queen, because she had expressed her desire to spend time with me. She has been very busy, but this weekend she had no other plans. I decided it would be nice to comply with her wishes, even though I would have had other matters to attend to as well.

My intention was from the very beginning to make the weekend as pleasurable as possible for her, and I think I succeeded in it. Among other things I masturbated her to orgasm three times during the first night and performed her cunnilingus during the second, for the second time during our relationship in fact. Yes, I know, we have taken things slowly.

She also expressed she has been very horny lately, a thing I find extremely arousing, and apparently wanted me to do something about it. Lately there has been some issues in our relationship we have tried to work out, that must have affected to her horniness as well. During the last week or so she has started to masturbate more actively again, which always is very heart-warming to hear.

I originally planned leaving on Saturday, but finally ended up staying at her place one day more. At Sunday morning we were cuddling in the bed and she started playing with my penis. Like I've told you, I haven't had permission to touch it for over a week now, but that doesn't apply to her of course.

This was no small matter in other respects either, since she has had some reservations when it comes to touching or playing with it. One thing led to another and very soon I said the thing she was doing would make me cum very soon.

"Really?" she asked, in all seriousness, and I answered yes, keeping my eyes closed. She continued, using the same technique, and I realized I could do it, I actually could. The thing is I'm not good at orgasming while being played with, but what she did felt very good, not only physically but also when it comes to being relaxed with someone.

Also, I realized I somehow "owed" it to her, all things considering. She had known about my "project" for months, but had been very understanding. And considering her hesitancy, in a situation when she was actually playing with me for real, it would have felt very "wrong" to deny her my orgasm.

"Do you want to see me cum?", I asked, keeping my eyes shut, and panting a little, listening my own heart starting to race faster and faster. "Well, it would be interesting to see, I suppose", I heard her say, not stopping what she was doing. After that we said nothing.

I took some doing from my part, conscious "pushing" myself over the edge. But it wasn't nearly as hard as it had been on previous occasions. In fact it felt glorious, and I was filled with love towards my Queen.

That was the first time in over twenty-one months I orgasmed willingly, actually wanting to shoot my load. First time in almost two years.

Afterwards my Queen my said that I had looked quite "girly" when I approached orgasm, which in my book is always a good thing. I admit I didn't want to hold back, and tried to make it look as nice for her as possible. I do know she likes to see the reactions on my face, whether they come from pleasure or pain.

Also the fact I had very strong urge to just hold her afterwards reinforced the idea. Maybe I would have made a better woman than I make a man.

My Queen commented afterwards that she was surprised how "easy" it had been. I told her that this time she had the advantage of time, that is, me being very horny. But also that I've never felt this comfortable with any other woman.

Naturally I was also a bit mixed-up after the incident. For almost two years being in cum ban had been the one constant thing, the faithful companion in my so called sex life, a thing that had defined me. There had been a couple of slip-ups, granted, but no actual orgasms. Was it all over now?

My Queen said, that if I wanted I could keep the counter on, but the count would mark days since I last time had the liberty to cum whenever I like. Days since "the play", as she put it, had started. That's a one day to look at it.

We both also agreed keeping me in total masturbation ban in a future as well would be a very good thing to do. That will keep me focused on her needs, since the only way I can ever hope to have another orgasm is through hands. I know it seems to give her an awful lot of power over me, but at the same time it feels very right.

One must also remember, that even though the cum ban itself is now over in the way I have known it, during the least 21 months I have let sperm spill out of me only four times, and only on of those occasions have given me any pleasure. That's once every five months, or 160 days. Not bad even if I say so myself.

One thing that may interest some of you is how it felt afterwards? After all this time? Well, it felt... strange. I kept telling my Queen, as I hugged her, that I felt so empty down there. The aching I had become so accustomed to was gone. My testicles felt like an empty wine skin.

There was also a strange calmness. Feeling of not wanting to cum, not wanting anything, almost. Like you know, there has been couple of accidents in the course of last few months, but this was the first time the sensations weren't a signs of failure, or of my own weakness, something that made me mad at myself.

However, I admit that when the first signs of starting to get horny emerged mere hour or so later, I was very happy about it. My faithful friend, the aching sensation, the deep, yearning desire in my testicles hadn't left me, after all.

One could say the situation when it comes to my body is now pretty much what it was after the last accident. The batch that was inside my testicles has now been released, and the production has started once again. The testicles churn new stuff and try to make me to get it out as soon as possible.

In other words the next thing to look forwards is, once again, more waiting. Last time it didn't take much longer than a week to make me to go nearly insane with lust. One can only hope that will happen this time as well. At least I plan to torment myself as much as I can during the next week or so at least.

I have no idea when I will get to cum next time, and I'm pretty sure my Queen doesn't know it either. I can only hope it will be a long, long time in the future. Keeping the times I get to cum as far apart as possible seems to be a very working method.

After all I do want to be as horny and desperate as possible when my Queen next time wants to play with me, and if she decides to let me cum, to offer her another entertaining show.

Whenever that happens.

31.7.2015

I'm a bit unsure how to start my update this time. There hasn't happened anything dramatic, but in a way there has. This will all make sense, I hope.

Like you all most likely remember, last time I reported how my prolonged chastity and my recent "accident" led to rather interesting phenomena few days ago. Orgasmic build-ups appeared quite unexpectedly and made me feel as if I was about to cum in my pants.

They lasted about 24 hours, but I can tell you it was quite a 24 hours. It felt as if I had to constantly fight off an orgasm, or to telepathically control a tidal wave. After the phenomena stopped I was naturally relieved, but puzzled as well. What created it, and what made it to go away?

After a day or so I was adventurous enough to even "test" myself a bit, and teased myself with my thoughts. However, it seemed the tidal waves I experienced earlier were now behind a mental stone wall, or perhaps a vault door. I noticed I can make the build-up appear but it requires rather strong erotic visual stimulation.

Last night I was surfing on the net, more accurately exploring the chastity caption pages of Tumblr. One thing led to another I decided to test what would happen if I tried to conjure a series of build-ups deliberately, by teasing myself with erotic images, but keeping my hands off my very limp penis.

Very soon I realized that even if it felt as was about to cum, it didn't mean I would do so. Every time there was the build-up, as well as all the other physical sensations, the mild shivers in my legs that usually precede the orgasm for example, but never the fulfillment.

I admit, this was the first time in almost two years I deliberately tried to make myself cum. I had the permission from my Queen to cum to do so, as long as I did it by thinking only. She had said it would be interesting to know whether I could cum without touching myself at all.

However, nothing of the sort happened. No matter how hard I tried, at the last moment, every single time, I felt a sort of "pull-back" from my body. Even though I soon realized very soon the attempts were futile, the feeling of frustration was so uncomfortable it made me continue.

Also, somewhere in my mind, I admit, there was the little glimmer of hope, that maybe next time I could push my over the edge. It is had to say, afterwards, what I actually thought. Did I really wished I could cum, or had I understood I couldn't, but wanted to torture my body anyway?

The thing is I was pretty incoherent by the end and quite unable to think straight. The feeling every time the pull-back happened was so uncomfortable and intense that at some point I was literally howling and moaning as it happened, out of sheer frustration.

I ended up doing it for what must have been over three hours. Around 3 AM I finally had a moment of clarity and I managed to switch my computer off, brushed my teeth and crashed to bed. The look on my face and in my eyes as I watched myself from bathroom mirror was almost indescribable.

Naturally it didn't end there, and the orgasmic build-ups, as well as pull-backs, continued as I was laying and twitching in the bed, continued quite a while. As my mind slowly started to clear off all I could was to listen the beating of my heart and go: "Wow.." in my head.

I have analyzed the night a little bit afterwards and I think that in some way it was a test of will, or a show of courage. On many occasions I ended up squeezing the sides of my work chair very hard during the build-up, knowing my limp, bare penis was so close, but that wouldn't touch it, no matter what.

My body wanted to cum, so very badly, but at the same time I realized this desire made a perfect weapon against it, a perfect tool to torture it. After all, it was my body that had betrayed me a mere week earlier. Now it was its turn to suffer. And all I had to do was... well, nothing.

It has also occurred to me that the feeling I felt as I lay in bed, the pulling and pulsating sensation, may be what is commonly described as "blue balls". This may be just another example of me being twisted, but if it was, the sensation many men dread felt simply... divinely excruciating to me.

All in all, I have to say last night was something I hadn't ever felt before. Also, it was one of the most intense, and torturous experiences of my sexual life. At last when it comes to experiences that take place completely inside my head.

I'm unsure how often I will use this new technique of torturing myself. It seems very efficient, as well as safe one. On the other hand recovering from it requires more than just stopping the physical activity.

Also, it is quite a relief, to realize that my libido, or my testicles are not about to fall into sleep, not just yet at least.

29.7.2015

I think it's time for another update, even though nothing dramatic has happened. Yet, at least. Or maybe it has, depends how you define it.

I have been on my new complete wank ban for a week now. When I started it what I wanted was a piece of mind, a purified mind in a way. I expected my libido going to the same deep sleep it has been almost two years soon, as long as I stop playing with myself completely.

Sure, I was curious to find out what would happen now, after what my body must have regarded as an actual orgasm, or at least ejaculation. I didn't expect anything special happening though, since this is not the first time I go on a cum ban.

Nothing could have prepared me what I have endured the last 24 hours though. Last night I was sitting at my computer minding my own business, and it occured to me how the caption photos I made were at some point a substitute for masturbating and orgasming for me.

Then, out of the blue... it started again. I felt orgasmic build-up coming from somewhere, and I'm afraid if I hadn't snapped myself out of it immediately, I would have ejaculated in my pants, with my penis being completely limp, without any sort of help from me.

It didn't stop there however, and the build-ups continued, one after another, even though I tried to do something else. Merely the thought of cumming, or not being allowed to cum, or thinking about my testicles, triggered a build-up, every one of which I managed to stop.

Naturally I contacted my Queen immediately and told her in panic what was happening. She was naturally alarmed, as well as amazed, but said she understands if I slip, or rather if my body does.

Basically I had at that point a "permission" to ejaculate, as long as I didn't touch myself prior to it. However, I saw that as a last resort only, and I fought the build-ups the best I could.

It continued about an hour, after which I was ready to hit the sack from sheer exhaustion. Today it started again, and I have endured several "waves" of attacks, usually lasting an hour or so.

On some occasions it may have been triggered by a sexy image, sometimes merely or a thought, and sometimes, like I said, only by me thinking about orgasming.

Today I saw my Queen, and told her, after we had spoken with each other for ten minutes, that I had fought off during that time several of those attacks, caused merely by the sight of her sitting beside me on a coach, or her smell, or the knowledge she's there.

She was naturally rather amused to hear that, as well as the fact that to me it felt like I was "trying to telekinetically keep a tsunami at bay". One has to constantly concentrate to maintain control and not let my thoughts wander.

I know it would be interesting to find out what would happen if I just... let go, and let whatever that would happen, happen. At the moment though I try to fight it the best I can.

I admit, in a way this is pure stubbornness. However, it's a mere week since I let sperm escape my body last time. There is no way I will let it happen again this soon. We will see now who is tougher, me or my body.

22.7.2015

I have decided, on my own initiative, to stop experimenting on myself for now, since I do not like the direction where the series of experiments have led me.

This morning I conducted yet again one edging session, with the intention to bring myself as close to orgasm as possible. My hope was to increase this way my constant state of horniness I have noticed fades away very quickly after a close call or an stifled orgasm. In a matter of days, in fact.

Just like previously, it didn't take long to reach the familiar feeling of pressure around my testicles that indicate the nearing orgasm. Even though it's very hard to believe, we're talking about relatively short amount of time here, only a few minutes of "active" masturbation time.

I wanted to be very careful, and therefore stopped the fast stroking altogether and continued to tease my limp penis with very, very slow strokes and keeping perhaps half a minute long pauses every time I felt I was too close.

I knew I should have stopped at that point and take a cold shower. However, the feeling of orgasm being so close was so uncomfortable and a agonizing I wanted to experience it a little bit longer. What happened then was expected, but still very unfortunate.

I had let go of my limp penis to let it cool down, when... it started again. Orgasmic build-up simply appeared from somewhere and I realized my body had decided to orgasm. This time I attempted to stifle it (a word I learned from my Queen) and grabbed the head of my penis tightly, wanting to suppress what was happening.

I didn't lose it, so to speak, at any point, merely squeezed the head of my limp penis shut very painfully. I even walked around a bit, as I felt my soft penis pulsate. However, I did feel the orgasmic spasms, whether I liked it or not, and truth to tell it all felt all too much like an orgasm.

The technique wasn't as successful as I would have liked it to be, in other respects either. After a few minutes, when the spasms had subsided and I let go of my penis, a small amount of yellowish sperm came out.

I must say I wasn't pleased about the outcome of my experiment. I have no option but to mark this day black in my cum diary, as an actual ruined orgasm, since this was clearly something that can't be called a close call anymore. Only two months since the last one. Way, way too soon in my opinion.

I examined myself as one would examine a lab animal after the incident, and I wasn't at all pleased to realize the physical sensations I felt were all too much like an after state of an actual orgasm. There was a strange calmness and... well, emptiness within my nether regions, something I hadn't felt in ages.

Truth to tell, I hated it. The constant pressure, and the state of being tense were gone. Sensations I had gotten so used to had been taken away from me. I felt so calm and relaxed, something a man who has just orgasmed feels, and in my opinion it wasn't something I was entitled to.

Therefore I have decided to stop my experiments until further notice. This will mean my libido and state of horniness will once again decrease, but in my opinion that is way more preferable option than the alternative.

There is a chance ejaculating followed with period of complete chastity will have uncomfortable and frustrating results. I have a hope this will be the case. Only time will tell.

19.7.2015

The experiments continue. I have been trying to observe how my body and mind work, sexual wise, during the last few days. Does the heightened state of arousal remain, or does it start to fade away rapidly like it once did?

I have in other words tried to tease and edge myself regularly, despite the apparent danger. Saturday was way too busy day for my Queen and me, containing a strenuous, day-long road trip. There was one sexually interesting situation during the day but I won't go into here.

On Friday and today on Sunday I did, however, have time to experiment and it looks like the state of easy arousal remains. I conducted an experimental edging several times, one even on Saturday after the trip, and noticed I reach "the edge" much quicker than previously.

Today's experiment session was so far the most interesting. After a relatively short masturbation time, and pushing myself closer to the edge with short masturbatory spurts I felt once again the orgasmic build-up.

This time, however, I realized it wouldn't stop before actual physical release like it did on previous occasion and I knew if didn't do anything I would have an actual accidental orgasm on my hands, a one that would happen totally without the presence of my Queen.

Therefore I decided to simply squeeze the head of my limp penis shut, as tight as I could, and see what happens. I felt the orgasmic flashes, but since I didn't release my grip on my penis the amount of sperm that apparently tried to get put of the urethra never did so.

When I think of the whole thing afterwards I am a bit surprised how cold, rational and almost methodological the whole thing was. I merely looked at my penis I was shutting tight and I never "lost it", so to speak.

I know I should feel guilty. However, the recent period of heightened arousal has been so interesting it would have been a pity not to examine or take advantage of it. I admit one could claim this wasn't a "close call" anymore, but an actual ruined orgasm.

However, considering how erratic the functions of my body have been I think it would have been illogical to assume I could produce again similar semi-orgasm I did on Wednesday. Like making a jump over a ravine with a race car, and managing to land on the ground, and then making the jump again, expecting to land on the same exact spot.

Naturally I am now very intrigued as what kind of effect this will have on me. One could say that as far as the body is concerned, I have had now something it regards as an orgasm. Does this decrease my level of horniness or not, or perhaps heightens it?

One thing I can say is that after the incident I have felt nicely tense and unable to focus much on anything. In other words so far there hasn't been any of the positive effects having an orgasm has, being relaxed and so on, and I'm very happy about that.

16.7.2015

Okay, I think it's time for a frantic update, even though even my Queen doesn't have the details yet. She is currently very busy, and I don't want to disturb her with something as meaningless as my sexual life.

As you very well know, I have had couple of close calls, accidental ruined orgasms and sort of semi-orgasms, during my 600 or so days of chastity. They have happened without my control while I have been edging with me being nowhere near the edge.

Well, like I've told you, we have summer over here, albeit a little cold one, but it has caused nice erotic sensation in me. I wouldn't say I'm not horny and frustrated all the time, and in fact I hope I would be more so, but it has revived my libido in some degree.

Yesterday I was edging the way I normally do, browsing some erotic images, thinking about my situation and my Queen, and naturally pulling my very limp penis. Like I've told you, it doesn't get hard, even when I egde.

Then, quite suddenly, when I was having my cool off break between spurts, and without even being even that aroused, I felt... it starting to happen again. Quite out of the blue I felt the orgasmic build up approaching, with me unable to do anything to stop it.

I was naturally petrified with fear. I merely waited, without daring even to breathe, and examined the sensation. I was convinced accidental ejaculation would take place again, since this is the way it had happened the two previous times.

But then, it... stopped. After a build-up, and such sense of approaching ejaculation I could taste it. I was naturally very relieved, but it also made me quote nervous, even alarmed, to have been so close letting sperm spill out, once again.

I stopped masturbating immediately and directed my energy to other matters. However, all during the day I was strangely... tense, like being in overdrive. What had happened intrigued me so much that I decided to experiment and started to edge again after a few hours.

And, as amazing as it sounds, the same thing happened again. Or rather, almost happened, while I was pulling my limp dick. I knew now I had to be cautious, and managed to stop myself well in advance. But the orgasmic build-up was there, I could feel it.

I must say I was baffled. After all this time, after 600 days of cum ban, after a month and a half since my last spill, that took place in the presence of my Queen, what has caused my long-dead libido to be awaken this way?

And as if this wasn't strange enough, a few hours later, when I was in bed and almost falling asleep, and my thoughts wandered to what happened during the day and to the idea of me cumming, I swear, I felt it starting again. This time with no physical simulation whatsoever.

I naturally panicked, and managed to stop the approaching sensation. In a way it's a pity, though. It would have been interesting experiment. To know whether I could sum in my pants, with my dick completely limp, simply by thinking about it.

Even now, as I write this, and think of myself cumming, I feel the sort of... boiling sensation in my balls. Various erotic imagery has also much stronger effect on me now, and I get very unexpected flashes of horniness, and a tight, gripping sensation in my testicles.

In a way this is as intense experience that the sensations during my first, week long cum ban way back in 2012. By the time week was almost up, a mere picture of a woman's face on the cover of a fashion magazine could produce the similar effect.

However, I can't help but wondering, what the heck is happening in my balls? I'm baffled to say the least. Did the first, near-orgasm yesterday have this effect on me? An effect even more stronger that after the last actual ruined orgasm?

I know I should be glad and enjoy the frustration, since this is what I have wanted. However, at the same time I can't help but being worried, and the thought of edging fills me with apprehension, since the last thing I want is to ejaculate without the permission of my Queen.